Fort Regulars

I may or may not have totally forgot about this.

Here's a totally unimportant journal entry. In fact, you can probably just skip this entire entry if it's too long. None of the jokes are any good anyway.

Anyone not included: You weren't included because I don't have a dwarf who does the job you want yet. I'll post a full list of dwarves and their jobs in the first post within the next ten minutes or so.

Journal of Peregrine, 25th Granite, 263, Late Summer.

Well, it's been almost a year and still we're sleeping on the floor from the lack of beds. We also don't have any dining rooms, and the stench of rotting food fills the air. Only the iron fist of Vamparagon keeps us from a revolution. Today Vamparagon gave me some time off for "good behaviour" so I decided to walk around and meet some of my fellow slaves dwarves.

The first person I ran into was Chamberino, the furnace operator who came with us on the wagon. Since there is no coal, she has nothing better to do than hang around the entrance with the other 20 or so jobless people. She remarked that something needed to be done around the chair situation and then I was on my way to see who else I could meet.

The next person I met was Nagi, after I walked into a craftsdwarf's workshop. He told me he was busy, displeased with the lack of chairs, and then said to leave. Just as I was about to leave, Nagi's wife Shadow came into the store. She remarked that she was glad to see me, and then proceeded to tell me of the situation regarding the lack of chairs around the fortress. It seems something must be done about that.

After leaving the craftsdwarf's workshop, I ran into one of the newer additions to the fortress, a glassmaker named Erik.

I was all "Yo, what's up Erik?"
And he was all "Nothing much."
And I was all "That's cool."

And then he proceeded to complain about how there are no chairs.

Later, I ran into Flaw of Insanity, the milker. Since we have no milkable animals whatsoever, he's been extremely bored, so he's taken to picking up the remains of dead rats that the cats leave behind and putting them into stockpiles. He also enjoys complaining about the lack of chairs in his free time.

The next person on the list was Dake, who is a siege operator. He's part of the construction team working on the fort defenses. So far he's got almost a full wall constructed, but he says that until we get a woodcutter he can't work with the terrain. Which means if goblins attack us, they can just walk right in and kill everyone. He also says that until we get more chairs, he wont be able to sit down. That apparently is a problem of equal concern.

What was to be my final conversation of the day was with Cial. She fancies herself a comedian, but according to Vamparagon's census she's a peasant. She likes to add a *BA-DUM-TSSH* to everything she says. This is how conversations go down:

Peregrine: Hey Cial, what's up?
Cial: This fort needs more chairs *BA-DUM-TSSH*

See what I mean?

I had just begun my descent down the grand staircase to the bottom where I was going to start mining for coal when I ran into someone unexpected.

Vamparagon, flanked by his two mighty wardogs.

"Oh hi Vamp. Just so you know, people are getting annoyed by a lack of tables."
"Tell them they can eat on the bottom floor. The floor is less uneven down there."
"Right boss."

And that was that. Our overlord and despot, ladies and gentlemen.