Re: Lorian Origins: Evangel Discussion

by Evangel on Wed Feb 10, 2010 12:06 am

Thanks! The entire story isn't going to be balanced, though, its going to get darker from the next chapter onward. I'll still throw in some light-hearted parts to keep it varying.

by **Vampiric** on Wed Feb 10, 2010 2:31 pm

Nice part three. Soo Sparrowhawk was dead and was killed again by Evangel? Interesting. Hehe, somehow this chapter reminded me of Pirates of the Caribbean, especially Jack shooting the undead Barbosa.

Anyway, just one thing that jumped out:

"He lifted her up, hold her body in his arms, turning, and walking out."

It may just be me, but I think it would flow better if it was "He lifted her up, held her body in his arms, turned, and walked out." Again, maybe just me.

Good chapter =)

by Evangel on Wed Feb 10, 2010 2:34 pm

Hmmm, I might change it to that, sounds better.

Sparrowhawk was dead and killed again as we kill undead in AQW.

by Alanza on Thu Feb 11, 2010 8:13 pm

Read the 3rd chapter! So sad, but this is an amazing story!

by Atriax on Thu Feb 11, 2010 9:05 pm

Yeah, it is a bit PotCish...
Could you perhaps rethink it?

by Evangel on Thu Feb 11, 2010 9:33 pm

Nope, that's the way its supposed to be. There have been undead pirates before PoTC, you know.

by Alanza on Mon Feb 15, 2010 11:07 am

I have no problem with it being sad; that's reality. Love the newest chapter!
And what is PotCish?

by Evangel on Mon Feb 15, 2010 11:09 am

"Pirates of the Caribbean"-ish.

by **Vampiric** on Mon Feb 22, 2010 3:37 pm

Wow, took me my sweet time to finally get around to commenting on chapter 4! Anyway, sad but good update. I'm curious about this voyage Evangel is embarking on. /Avenge On?

by Alanza on Fri Feb 26, 2010 12:24 am

Lol! I was thinking, "Pot...cish? What's a cish? Quiche?"
Lol.
I love your story, man! All chapters have been awesome! I need to get more writing done. o.o