Latest topics
» Mod Conference Room is Feeling Weak
by Onion Supreme Today at 3:43 pm

» The Elder Scrolls!
by Cial Today at 9:20 am

» Flesh and Bone
by CC Today at 9:00 am

» Pokemon!
by Onion Supreme Yesterday at 11:01 pm

» Pictures
by Onion Supreme Yesterday at 10:58 pm

» D-D-D-DUBSTEP
by DigDog Yesterday at 10:28 pm

» I've returned...Kinda
by DigDog Yesterday at 8:17 pm

» Swing of Memories [And the Cial/Winnie wedding]
by DigDog Yesterday at 8:14 pm

» [DRAWN][PS]Nemo's Neo Gallery
by Nemo Yesterday at 7:57 pm

Top posting users this week
DigDog
 
Onion Supreme
 
Tim Hortans
 
Leb
 
Nemo
 
Cial
 
CC
 
Peregrine
 
Rage
 
Winnie
 

Rank Requests

Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:23 am by V

With all the rank requests recently, I thought I'd make a central thread where they could all be requested.

Costs of ranks:
Custom Rank 7,500 Points
Colored/Bolded Rank 15,000 Points
Add an image to …


Comments: 395

Chat Initiative-- APPROVED BY ERIK

Sun Apr 08, 2012 10:04 am by CC

HOLY CRAP I CAN POST NEWS. CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT, STAR FOX

Ohmygod.

AHEM, we have a problem that's been festering for a while now. About eight months or so, I'd say.

The chat is barren. More …

Comments: 11

Log in

I forgot my password

Who is online?
In total there are 6 users online :: 1 Registered, 0 Hidden and 5 Guests :: 2 Bots

Peregrine

[ View the whole list ]


Most users ever online was 212 on Tue Jan 11, 2011 5:47 pm
Search
 
 

Display results as :
 


Rechercher Advanced Search

TFoTR discussion.

View previous topic View next topic Go down

TFoTR discussion.

Post by Snukems on Fri Jun 04, 2010 7:07 am

Yeah yeah my story is awesome and stuffz.

Second chapter isn't out yet but it'll be epic.


Last edited by InvadersFromDeepSpace on Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:47 am; edited 1 time in total

Snukems
All your clans are belong to us.

Number of posts: 637
User Points: 12359
Age: 15

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: TFoTR discussion.

Post by Snukems on Sun Jun 13, 2010 4:46 am

Second chapter - DONE.

Snukems
All your clans are belong to us.

Number of posts: 637
User Points: 12359
Age: 15

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: TFoTR discussion.

Post by Peregrine on Wed Jun 16, 2010 1:57 am

It would seem that Shadow and I are dead.

That's very unfortunate.

Good story, though. I like how much work you put into the battles. I usually just write "*one trainer battle later*" and the like. Of course, I also don't have as many as you do.

_________________




[The Strange Adventures of Unimaginatively Named Characters]
Peregrine Falcon, reborn from the ashes.
The blue ashes.

Peregrine
Justice
Justice

Zard: Peregrine's rock.
Number of posts: 1825
User Points: 728391
Location: Amongst the shards of my broken reality.

View user profile http://twitter.com/PerryPeregrine

Back to top Go down

Re: TFoTR discussion.

Post by Snukems on Thu Jun 17, 2010 4:41 am

Thanks. You might want to read the third chapter and get surprised.

Snukems
All your clans are belong to us.

Number of posts: 637
User Points: 12359
Age: 15

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: TFoTR discussion.

Post by Shadow on Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:35 pm

Well, I've given you a lot of CC on MSN at various stages of the story, however I just noticed the last few paragraphs, so I'll CC that here.
which I neglected to mention earlier

You've never included you, the writer, into the story before, so it seems quite odd to do so now. I think you probably should go back and add in the info about Mewthree, because suddenly including yourself because you can't be bothered changing it is quite slack, really.
Mewtwo evolves into Newtwo

You've elaborated as to how all your other invented pokemon evolved into what they did, but not for Newtwo. If he chose to himself, why did he only just do it? You really need to state why he evolved (and if there is no real reason, then why he evolved this late in the battle). Again, slack writing here.
Then Nuke arrives.

Yeah... this just makes no sense. How did he get there, and why did he leave Nukia to come here? If it was to thwart the protagonists, why this late? Quite deus ex machina, really (except instead of solving the problem it made it worse, but the concept is the same). AGAIN, slack writing.

So overall: it's a good conclusion to a dramatic chapter, however you got quite lazy with the writing at times.

_________________




Shadow
Ssssssssssss

Number of posts: 3423
User Points: 567342
Age: 17
Location: New Zealand

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: TFoTR discussion.

Post by Snukems on Thu Jun 17, 2010 8:05 pm

I edited some.

Snukems
All your clans are belong to us.

Number of posts: 637
User Points: 12359
Age: 15

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: TFoTR discussion.

Post by Erik on Fri Jun 18, 2010 12:14 am

Odd story. I noticed they have yet to use their Master Ball, I would have used it on Egice ;)

Erik
Soul Collector

Zard:
Number of posts: 3973
User Points: 1002649
Age: 17
Location: Firelink Shrine

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: TFoTR discussion.

Post by Snukems on Fri Jun 18, 2010 1:25 am

Lol, Erik. I would have done that, too XD

EDIT, 9:22 PM:

http://www.trforums.com/word-gallery-f29/the-fall-of-tr-t2020.htm#70271 chapter 3!

Snukems
All your clans are belong to us.

Number of posts: 637
User Points: 12359
Age: 15

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: TFoTR discussion.

Post by Snukems on Fri Jun 25, 2010 7:27 am

Ch 4 Part 1 is out.

Snukems
All your clans are belong to us.

Number of posts: 637
User Points: 12359
Age: 15

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: TFoTR discussion.

Post by Shadow on Fri Jun 25, 2010 4:51 pm

Porygon-X uses Zap Cannon and Thunder in unison, but the Swamperts have two abilities; one shared, being that they are immune to electric attacks, and therefore, they charge towards the Porygon-X and block its thunder and zap cannon from hurting Phione, who then jumps high and uses water pulse on Porygon-X, causing it to go on maximum performance mode, and form two fists, both equal in size to Porygon-X's body, which is actually rather small, being four feet long and three feet tall, and the fists elementize into the grass type, then they attack the Swamperts, causing them to take heavy damage while they struggle to break free of the plants which wrap around them, having a difficult time, until Entei is sent out and burns it off, before jumping over them and attacking Porygon-X with a mighty Fire Blast, which burns it severely until it unleashes an even more powerful Hydro Pump, pinning Entei to the ceiling, where it is nearly defeated by the water, before the Swamperts use Darkness Engulfment and Psycho Boost on Porygon-X, causing it to be heavily damaged until it is sent into the wall by a huge muddy water and surf combination coming from both Swamperts, and then another Fire Blast from Entei, defeating the mighty Porygon-X.

A few minutes later, the ice around them, heavily damaged by the battle, collapses, while Pere withdraws all of his Militiamon, and crushes the last of the Militiamon, while Pere remains unharmed, and runs out to confront Heartless Entei, sending out Suicune and Ho-Oh, then flying on Ho-Oh, while he commands Suicune, who uses Hydro Pump, at the exact time that Heartless Entei uses Fire Blast and then a Blizzard, but also as it is struck by Sky Attack, and then carried into the air, where Suicune, who jumps as high as possible, blasts it with Hydro Pump until it is so heavily damaged that it will not be able to balance itself as Ho-Oh drops it, causing it to roll down to mountain, causing rocks to move and lava vents to open, while the rocks break other rocks and cause a rock slide, which damages the mob of enemy Militiamon chasing Shadow greatly once he does a flyby on the Swamperts to pick them up and have them mounted on SL backwards so that they may blast the rear targets, who suffer greatly to the point where they, with the rocks, fall into the ocean.

Run-on sentences.

Other than that, loving this exciting new chapter! :D

_________________




Shadow
Ssssssssssss

Number of posts: 3423
User Points: 567342
Age: 17
Location: New Zealand

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: TFoTR discussion.

Post by Snukems on Tue Jun 29, 2010 4:29 pm

I have a bad run-on habit. Blame the guy who invented English.

Snukems
All your clans are belong to us.

Number of posts: 637
User Points: 12359
Age: 15

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: TFoTR discussion.

Post by Shadow on Tue Jun 29, 2010 4:31 pm

Just because it's a bad habit doesn't excuse the need to fix it.

_________________




Shadow
Ssssssssssss

Number of posts: 3423
User Points: 567342
Age: 17
Location: New Zealand

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: TFoTR discussion.

Post by Snukems on Mon Jul 05, 2010 7:31 am

Trying to fix when I get bored.

Also, Ch 4 is done.

Snukems
All your clans are belong to us.

Number of posts: 637
User Points: 12359
Age: 15

View user profile

Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum