Marvelocity Discussion

Interesting idea for a story. It's kind of hard to give it proper CC because not that much has happened, but it's certainly written well. I would suggest replacing those *sigh* and *laugh* parts with actual written out parts, like "Nicholas sighed, and a blahdy blah blah the game toast".

Another thing that would be nice is to have more description throughout the chapters. As it stands right now, there's basically one big paragraph and then a bunch of dialogue. You should try to keep it all equal. A tip I learned was to always remember the 5 senses. That way you can easily get more description in. But use that tip in moderation, because it'd be kind of weird for someone to mention on what something smells like over and over.

A reason it doesnt have a lot of description is because its meant to be written as a comic. But until I either become better at drawing and get a drawing program, or find someone who's good at drawing, then it remains as is.