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Rank Requests
Sun Jan 10, 2010 10:23 am by V
With all the rank requests recently, I thought I'd make a central thread where they could all be requested.
Costs of ranks:
Custom Rank 7,500 Points
Colored/Bolded Rank 15,000 Points
Add an image to …
Costs of ranks:
Custom Rank 7,500 Points
Colored/Bolded Rank 15,000 Points
Add an image to …
Comments: 354
Happy Birthday Juli!
Thu Jan 26, 2012 11:59 pm by Mrsebi
TODAY IS JULIANAS BIRTHDAY!
So... lets all take a moment to celebrate and congratulate the birthday of the best, most amazing, and just downright most awesome member of TR!
So... lets all take a moment to celebrate and congratulate the birthday of the best, most amazing, and just downright most awesome member of TR!
Comments: 13
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Approval for Word Gallery form
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Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
Medium: Longer stories, poetry, sometimes comedy, sometimes drama. Etc. (I know, 'etc' doesn't work with a list of un-related things, but you get the point)
How long have you been writing? : Dunno. 10 years. ._.
Example: I'm afraid to sleep at night, I just lay there thinking about tomorrow. And whether I'll be in the same place or time when I wake up. It's hard not knowing when or where you'll be in the next five seconds. You could be halfway across the room and five seconds into the future, or halfway across the universe and five billion years into the past.
Most people would pay anything to live my life; running free, going anywhere and anywhen, anytime I want. But it's not like that.
I live by the rules that were lay down millennia ago by the ones who did this to me. The ones who created this curse and destroyed my life forever. I'm an outlaw and a fugitive everywhere I go. I live in the shadows, I know no one. I don't even remember my own name. The number engraved into the skin on my left arm is a lot easier to remember than a full name.
It's been hundreds, or maybe thousands of years since the day when I came home and found the note. I was told not to worry, it may be temporary. It was a great honor to be here, now, this. It wasn't true. They couldn't control it.
So now I'm stuck. They're dead. I have no way of knowing where or when I'll be next. I just hope for the best and dive head first into whatever situation I'm put into. It's hard to believe I'm not dead by now, especially with that philosophy.
But that's what I do, that's who I am.
Until a few days ago, I was the scourge of the universe.
Now, I'm times last hope.
Please to meet you.
Wont you guess my name?
.:Juli:.
That... is so creepy... and so great... approved!!!
How long have you been writing? : Dunno. 10 years. ._.
Example: I'm afraid to sleep at night, I just lay there thinking about tomorrow. And whether I'll be in the same place or time when I wake up. It's hard not knowing when or where you'll be in the next five seconds. You could be halfway across the room and five seconds into the future, or halfway across the universe and five billion years into the past.
Most people would pay anything to live my life; running free, going anywhere and anywhen, anytime I want. But it's not like that.
I live by the rules that were lay down millennia ago by the ones who did this to me. The ones who created this curse and destroyed my life forever. I'm an outlaw and a fugitive everywhere I go. I live in the shadows, I know no one. I don't even remember my own name. The number engraved into the skin on my left arm is a lot easier to remember than a full name.
It's been hundreds, or maybe thousands of years since the day when I came home and found the note. I was told not to worry, it may be temporary. It was a great honor to be here, now, this. It wasn't true. They couldn't control it.
So now I'm stuck. They're dead. I have no way of knowing where or when I'll be next. I just hope for the best and dive head first into whatever situation I'm put into. It's hard to believe I'm not dead by now, especially with that philosophy.
But that's what I do, that's who I am.
Until a few days ago, I was the scourge of the universe.
Now, I'm times last hope.
Please to meet you.
Wont you guess my name?
.:Juli:.
That... is so creepy... and so great... approved!!!

Bram- Insane Mage

- Number of posts: 371
User Points: 19203
Age: 16
Location: The Void - Under Siege

Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
Medium: Mostly stories. Of the long and short variety.
How long have you been writing? : Ever since I had to write a paper in second grade. So about 12 years. If you mean as a hobby, then I've only been doing that for a day.
Example: Shadow: Dake I’m getting a bit tired of needing to come down here and cleanup after you.
Dake: But Shadow, all this work is very critical for TR.
Shadow: How is firing a chicken out of a cannon critical?
Dake: Vamp likes fast food.
Sparda: Hey guys, I just climbed up through the sewers and I’m looking for Peregrine
Dake: *glances over at Sparda* Who are you?
Shadow: Better question, how did you manage to get to that ladder? It doesn’t lead to anywhere.
Sparda: Well I’m Sparda, I’m the new employee and I’m just trying to get to work, but Vamp wouldn’t let me in the front door.
Dake: That figures.
Sparda: Also I managed to follow the current in the sewers and then climbed up the ladder like the Sewage Cleanup Guy told me to.
Shadow: You mean that Ratchet and Clank reference?
Sparda: Yeah that guy.
Shadow: Man I love that guy. He’s the only other guy who does any cleaning around here.
Sparda: Anyway, do either of you know where Pere would be?
Dake: He could be pretty much anywhere. As a matter of fact, I’m not entirely sure what he does around here anyway.
Shadow: If I had to guess, Pere would probably be in the cafeteria or bar.
Sparda: Which one is closer?
Shadow: The bar. If you want to get there, just head out the door and follow the right side of the hallway for awhile. You should smell the TR ale from a pretty good distance.
Sparda: Thanks guys. Have a good time making your clearly critical machines.
Dake: See Shadow? That guy gets it.
Shadow: I still don’t see why we need a steam powered conveyor belt that leads to the bathroom.
Dake: Shadow you just don’t understand.
You only have one small problem, which is adding commas between two connecting thoughts. I've added those in with red for you. As long as you fix that in the future,
~LeppyApproved~
How long have you been writing? : Ever since I had to write a paper in second grade. So about 12 years. If you mean as a hobby, then I've only been doing that for a day.
Example: Shadow: Dake I’m getting a bit tired of needing to come down here and cleanup after you.
Dake: But Shadow, all this work is very critical for TR.
Shadow: How is firing a chicken out of a cannon critical?
Dake: Vamp likes fast food.
Sparda: Hey guys, I just climbed up through the sewers and I’m looking for Peregrine
Dake: *glances over at Sparda* Who are you?
Shadow: Better question, how did you manage to get to that ladder? It doesn’t lead to anywhere.
Sparda: Well I’m Sparda, I’m the new employee and I’m just trying to get to work, but Vamp wouldn’t let me in the front door.
Dake: That figures.
Sparda: Also I managed to follow the current in the sewers and then climbed up the ladder like the Sewage Cleanup Guy told me to.
Shadow: You mean that Ratchet and Clank reference?
Sparda: Yeah that guy.
Shadow: Man I love that guy. He’s the only other guy who does any cleaning around here.
Sparda: Anyway, do either of you know where Pere would be?
Dake: He could be pretty much anywhere. As a matter of fact, I’m not entirely sure what he does around here anyway.
Shadow: If I had to guess, Pere would probably be in the cafeteria or bar.
Sparda: Which one is closer?
Shadow: The bar. If you want to get there, just head out the door and follow the right side of the hallway for awhile. You should smell the TR ale from a pretty good distance.
Sparda: Thanks guys. Have a good time making your clearly critical machines.
Dake: See Shadow? That guy gets it.
Shadow: I still don’t see why we need a steam powered conveyor belt that leads to the bathroom.
Dake: Shadow you just don’t understand.
You only have one small problem, which is adding commas between two connecting thoughts. I've added those in with red for you. As long as you fix that in the future,
~LeppyApproved~

Sparda- New Member
- Zard:

Number of posts: 11
User Points: 64878
Age: 22
Location: Pennsylvania
Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
this is my 2nd try
It was a time and place where few things happened, life was slow, easy. Religion was life for the young to old, what they lived for and there greatest means for social contact. It was this time, a time where there was no adventure, no knights, no wars, where a small boy was born, angry at the existence he lived in and craving escape and power.
It was another casual day for the town of Harrowood everyone was set to there daily routine they had practiced for century’s, farmers were in there fields plowing, children were at home or church learning, wives sat at home cleaning or fixing things, the elderly sat and talked of yesterday, all except young Headrow Thrift. Headrow Thrift hated the town with a passion, he loved to pull pranks and interfere with everyone’s daily business. He was a practitioner of the random and a master of all things that went astray in Harrowood. Be it tipping cows, slipping salamanders into teachers desks, letting caterpillars lose into fields, and engraving profanity into village house sidings. If something went wrong, best bet Headrow was to blame. But today, today headrow would go to the point of no return and unlock true discord.
Near the village of Harrowood was a deep dark forest full of dead mangled branches that literally swept down from there tops and mangled at there bases together to form tight walls to keep things out or in, Headrow after already being scalded by his mother for putting an egg under his grandpas bed sheets left his home in search for an escape from all the “boredom” that existed in his life. He had heard once of the midnight forest from a traveler whom he met while not doing his daily chores, he heard from the man that the forest its self is so frightening from the outside no one has ever dared enter to find what actually there is to fear. This sounded like the only way to end his predictable life as a normal boy and see worlds never before charted, a chance Headrow would give his life for.
So Headrow began to make his plans
“First ill need previsions, food, water, probably rope, and something to fight with just incase I actually DO find something dangerous there.” He thought to himself. So he filled his waterskin, stole a kid’s lunch at school, and took his fathers hunting knife in a backpack with his food and water in it. He scoured his neighbors barn looking for some rope till he found some and coiled it up into his bag, he was about to leave before his brother had noticed he had left and went looking for him. His brother was a slow calm younger lad whom Headrow deemed slow to the level of stupid, his name was William and he was not slow for stupid reasons but he was wise and took his time on everything he had put to him. William found Headrow just after Headrow had left the barn and confronted him.
“Hey brother, what are you doing with so much stuff?” asked William.
“I am finally going to leave the rut of the life you live and the rest of this ignorant town and set out on an adventure for fame and fortune.” Proclaimed Headrow.
“Oh brother Headrow, How will you do that?” William asked.
“I plan to enter the midnight forest and clam any wealth I can find for myself and become a hero!”
So then Headrow left his brother there by the barn setting off down the road that passed by the midnight forest, the road well traversed but relatively safe because of little place to ambush beside it was under the noon sun on this adventurous day. Headrow plodded down the road as if he thought himself a kings knight in arms about to slay an evil dragon, though his show was for not, for there was no one passing that road today. It was a few miles to to the forests edge but as headrow went in the excitement he was in time ran by like a speeding horse and soon he came up from a hill and spotted the blackened woods. The glimpse from afar was still nothing compared to being only feet from it, its trees thrashed and gnarled into each other like thousands of petrified beasts fighting for dominance, thorns and branches barring no leaves nor fruit, there bark black as night and strong as a rock. The trees branches hung all the way to the ground and high into the sky locking together only open enough for the smallest of men to enter, or a boy like headrow, there masses clutched so close only 10 feet could be seen into them.
Headrow sucking in his new fear and dread that radiated from the trees slowly made his way into the dense forest, squeezing though limbs and over and under branches, twigs grabbing him like a ghouls hands he went on. Slowly he made his way, silence his only companion, deeper and deeper the trees grow thicker, darker, and more contorted as he could barley make his way through the miles of trees in his way. After only getting a miles into the trees he knew it had been hours of fighting and only worse to come, he only wondered of the monsters and evil things that could be watching him in the darkness but humorlessly thought that the trees were to think for even them to se any far. He slowly noticed the trees growing more grotesque the father he traveled intro the heart of the forest, there trunks bent, there limbs gnashed, there branches mangled and there bark became more and more resembling of human vestiges. More and more he went the trees became more disturbing, there trunks opened up contorting into mouths and eyes seemingly staring at him with pained faces and wicked grins, the silence itself had become a monster as all his mind had to work with were his thoughts of death and fear turning into paranoia. Farther and farther he went, not knowing why, not caring, more out of fear then anything else, he started to think that at far away the trees started to look like they were even breathing, there trunks ungluing, compressed and expanded in the gloom. But then he crawled into a open space falling to the ground, the space completely surrounded by the evil trees in the middle was floating black ball of energy spinning in ever changing directions and spurting off arcs of blood red lightning it gave off a gloomy negative glow. Headrow was slightly discouraged thinking he would find gold or at least something he could bring back, but that was quickly replaced with curiosity, its not every day you find a ball of energy in a hellish forest, though he wouldn’t know because it was his first encounter with many things today.
Headrow started to walk toward it, being it a good 50 feet away, to examine his find better, slowly as he walked the world around him faded, all he could think of or focus on was this floating energy, he wanted to touch it. Only feet away he stopped, considering it for some time, he slowly reached his hand out to the ball, only inches away he was nervous and scared, but wanted to know what it was so bad he didn’t care. The lightning arched into his hand and the orb disappeared with it entering his body, it showed him worlds, it showed him death evil and monsters, but it showed him power most of all, it tainted his mind. His hair turned orange with black stripes, his eyes turned purple, his clothes changed into black gothic clothes with thick gloves and jacket covered in chains and other metal bits. And his skin paled almost white. He went on to slaughter his own village and corrupt them into evil monsters with warped power, he went on to do this for the rest of his world and ruled it as a king for a vast time as his new persona, Legend.
I won't say its flawless, because it isn't. There are a few grammar mistakes in there. You always have them, but this is probably one of your better stories. Despite that, you wrote a nice story here. I'll go ahead and approve you, but I do want you to work on your grammar a bit.
~Xusha
It was a time and place where few things happened, life was slow, easy. Religion was life for the young to old, what they lived for and there greatest means for social contact. It was this time, a time where there was no adventure, no knights, no wars, where a small boy was born, angry at the existence he lived in and craving escape and power.
It was another casual day for the town of Harrowood everyone was set to there daily routine they had practiced for century’s, farmers were in there fields plowing, children were at home or church learning, wives sat at home cleaning or fixing things, the elderly sat and talked of yesterday, all except young Headrow Thrift. Headrow Thrift hated the town with a passion, he loved to pull pranks and interfere with everyone’s daily business. He was a practitioner of the random and a master of all things that went astray in Harrowood. Be it tipping cows, slipping salamanders into teachers desks, letting caterpillars lose into fields, and engraving profanity into village house sidings. If something went wrong, best bet Headrow was to blame. But today, today headrow would go to the point of no return and unlock true discord.
Near the village of Harrowood was a deep dark forest full of dead mangled branches that literally swept down from there tops and mangled at there bases together to form tight walls to keep things out or in, Headrow after already being scalded by his mother for putting an egg under his grandpas bed sheets left his home in search for an escape from all the “boredom” that existed in his life. He had heard once of the midnight forest from a traveler whom he met while not doing his daily chores, he heard from the man that the forest its self is so frightening from the outside no one has ever dared enter to find what actually there is to fear. This sounded like the only way to end his predictable life as a normal boy and see worlds never before charted, a chance Headrow would give his life for.
So Headrow began to make his plans
“First ill need previsions, food, water, probably rope, and something to fight with just incase I actually DO find something dangerous there.” He thought to himself. So he filled his waterskin, stole a kid’s lunch at school, and took his fathers hunting knife in a backpack with his food and water in it. He scoured his neighbors barn looking for some rope till he found some and coiled it up into his bag, he was about to leave before his brother had noticed he had left and went looking for him. His brother was a slow calm younger lad whom Headrow deemed slow to the level of stupid, his name was William and he was not slow for stupid reasons but he was wise and took his time on everything he had put to him. William found Headrow just after Headrow had left the barn and confronted him.
“Hey brother, what are you doing with so much stuff?” asked William.
“I am finally going to leave the rut of the life you live and the rest of this ignorant town and set out on an adventure for fame and fortune.” Proclaimed Headrow.
“Oh brother Headrow, How will you do that?” William asked.
“I plan to enter the midnight forest and clam any wealth I can find for myself and become a hero!”
So then Headrow left his brother there by the barn setting off down the road that passed by the midnight forest, the road well traversed but relatively safe because of little place to ambush beside it was under the noon sun on this adventurous day. Headrow plodded down the road as if he thought himself a kings knight in arms about to slay an evil dragon, though his show was for not, for there was no one passing that road today. It was a few miles to to the forests edge but as headrow went in the excitement he was in time ran by like a speeding horse and soon he came up from a hill and spotted the blackened woods. The glimpse from afar was still nothing compared to being only feet from it, its trees thrashed and gnarled into each other like thousands of petrified beasts fighting for dominance, thorns and branches barring no leaves nor fruit, there bark black as night and strong as a rock. The trees branches hung all the way to the ground and high into the sky locking together only open enough for the smallest of men to enter, or a boy like headrow, there masses clutched so close only 10 feet could be seen into them.
Headrow sucking in his new fear and dread that radiated from the trees slowly made his way into the dense forest, squeezing though limbs and over and under branches, twigs grabbing him like a ghouls hands he went on. Slowly he made his way, silence his only companion, deeper and deeper the trees grow thicker, darker, and more contorted as he could barley make his way through the miles of trees in his way. After only getting a miles into the trees he knew it had been hours of fighting and only worse to come, he only wondered of the monsters and evil things that could be watching him in the darkness but humorlessly thought that the trees were to think for even them to se any far. He slowly noticed the trees growing more grotesque the father he traveled intro the heart of the forest, there trunks bent, there limbs gnashed, there branches mangled and there bark became more and more resembling of human vestiges. More and more he went the trees became more disturbing, there trunks opened up contorting into mouths and eyes seemingly staring at him with pained faces and wicked grins, the silence itself had become a monster as all his mind had to work with were his thoughts of death and fear turning into paranoia. Farther and farther he went, not knowing why, not caring, more out of fear then anything else, he started to think that at far away the trees started to look like they were even breathing, there trunks ungluing, compressed and expanded in the gloom. But then he crawled into a open space falling to the ground, the space completely surrounded by the evil trees in the middle was floating black ball of energy spinning in ever changing directions and spurting off arcs of blood red lightning it gave off a gloomy negative glow. Headrow was slightly discouraged thinking he would find gold or at least something he could bring back, but that was quickly replaced with curiosity, its not every day you find a ball of energy in a hellish forest, though he wouldn’t know because it was his first encounter with many things today.
Headrow started to walk toward it, being it a good 50 feet away, to examine his find better, slowly as he walked the world around him faded, all he could think of or focus on was this floating energy, he wanted to touch it. Only feet away he stopped, considering it for some time, he slowly reached his hand out to the ball, only inches away he was nervous and scared, but wanted to know what it was so bad he didn’t care. The lightning arched into his hand and the orb disappeared with it entering his body, it showed him worlds, it showed him death evil and monsters, but it showed him power most of all, it tainted his mind. His hair turned orange with black stripes, his eyes turned purple, his clothes changed into black gothic clothes with thick gloves and jacket covered in chains and other metal bits. And his skin paled almost white. He went on to slaughter his own village and corrupt them into evil monsters with warped power, he went on to do this for the rest of his world and ruled it as a king for a vast time as his new persona, Legend.
I won't say its flawless, because it isn't. There are a few grammar mistakes in there. You always have them, but this is probably one of your better stories. Despite that, you wrote a nice story here. I'll go ahead and approve you, but I do want you to work on your grammar a bit.
~Xusha

Arch Fiend- The Epic Knight

- Number of posts: 311
User Points: 77895
Location: Epic
Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
Medium (What you do most of) : Stories.
How long have you been writing? : Well, I have not written anything since I was 7 so...
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please):
I ride through a ghostly canyon, all I can hear is the horsehooves hitting the ground and the wind blowing between the rock formations. Suddenly, a bullet hits a rock just a few metres in front of me. "Bandits, why can't you travel anywhere without meeting 'em?"
I hit the spurs, yelling "Ptah, ptah!". Nothing can describe the feeling of the wind rushing through your hair and the sound of guns getting fired behind you, the adrenaline rush you get. A bullet hits my shoulder, making me shout out in pain, but I need to keep on going!
Riding in hours, I forget to keep track of time. Dawn is coming up soon, I'll just have to get out of the wilderness. Finally, civilzation, a sign says "Blackmill, population 37." I start riding into the village. Suddenly the pain catches up with me again, so much blood. I fall of the horse. My sight is blurry, and I lose my consciousness.
When I wake up I'm in a small room. A torn bed, a bedroom table with some withered flowers on it and a old red rug is the only furniture/decorations. The walls are covered by a striped wallpaper and something that seems to be ravioli, there is also a mouse hole with a mousetrap outside it. "Poor animals," I think as I take up the mousetrap "I will keep this in my pocket for later, although I must remember not putting my hands in there without thinking.".
I walk out of the room, and down the stairs into what seems to be a pub. "Howdy, Stranger, welcome to Blackmill Saloon. Buy some ale and enjoy your stay." the barmaid says coming up to me.
Several small syntax errors, but it's good enough to pass. Approved!
-Shadow
How long have you been writing? : Well, I have not written anything since I was 7 so...
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please):
I ride through a ghostly canyon, all I can hear is the horsehooves hitting the ground and the wind blowing between the rock formations. Suddenly, a bullet hits a rock just a few metres in front of me. "Bandits, why can't you travel anywhere without meeting 'em?"
I hit the spurs, yelling "Ptah, ptah!". Nothing can describe the feeling of the wind rushing through your hair and the sound of guns getting fired behind you, the adrenaline rush you get. A bullet hits my shoulder, making me shout out in pain, but I need to keep on going!
Riding in hours, I forget to keep track of time. Dawn is coming up soon, I'll just have to get out of the wilderness. Finally, civilzation, a sign says "Blackmill, population 37." I start riding into the village. Suddenly the pain catches up with me again, so much blood. I fall of the horse. My sight is blurry, and I lose my consciousness.
When I wake up I'm in a small room. A torn bed, a bedroom table with some withered flowers on it and a old red rug is the only furniture/decorations. The walls are covered by a striped wallpaper and something that seems to be ravioli, there is also a mouse hole with a mousetrap outside it. "Poor animals," I think as I take up the mousetrap "I will keep this in my pocket for later, although I must remember not putting my hands in there without thinking.".
I walk out of the room, and down the stairs into what seems to be a pub. "Howdy, Stranger, welcome to Blackmill Saloon. Buy some ale and enjoy your stay." the barmaid says coming up to me.
Several small syntax errors, but it's good enough to pass. Approved!
-Shadow

Draktand- Cattle Thief
- Zard:

Number of posts: 118
User Points: 66968
Age: 14
Location: Sweden
Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
Medium : Comedy, or fantasy.
How long have you been writing? :umm.. I haven't written for a while, I only write in English class. :P
Example :
(Plagiarism overload alert, toxic Plagiarism, resistance is futile.)
Ana, Bram, Ibibo, V, shadow, Weena, Veluchan, tom van dam and Tim Hortans are gathered on top of a very High sky scraper with a helicopter and nothing else in particular.
Weena: So, what exactly are we doing here again?
V: An anonymous tipster told us something very important would happen if we're all here at the same time.
Ana: Huh.
Felix teleports ontop of the skycraper with the rest of them, punching Bram in the face then teleports next to the helicopter.
Bram: What was that for!
Felix: Jaws were made to be broken.
Bram: Ha! good one!
Ibby: You so stole that from explosm.
Felix: And This bullet is going to steal some blood from you.
Felix shoots Ibibo with a revolver directly in the heart, effectively killing him, the rest stare in shock.
Felix: Now that I've sorted that out, the reason your here.
Veluchan: Why have you brought us here?
Felix: me, I didn't not, not.
Ana: That made no sense.
Felix: YOU make no sense.
Ana: Oh, your good.
Felix: However, I suggest you look in the Helicopter for something.
Velu and Tom van dam clamber into the helicopter searching for anything of use, they come out carrying a large wooden box.
Tim: what's in it?
Velu: We haven't checked yet.
Felix: Let me have a look.
Felix steps to wards the box and opens lid, after seeing whats inside, takes a careful step back
Felix: that, my friend would be..
Felix stares towards audience/camera in a very James bond look.
Felix: A BOMB!
.:Juli:.
There are a lot of typos and capitalization errors in here: people's first AND last names should begin with capital letters, "what's" should have an apostrophe in it, "towards" is all one word, etc. In addition, I'm not sure you gave us enough to read from here. I recommend that you try again, and work on your capitalization and spacing.
How long have you been writing? :umm.. I haven't written for a while, I only write in English class. :P
Example :
(Plagiarism overload alert, toxic Plagiarism, resistance is futile.)
Ana, Bram, Ibibo, V, shadow, Weena, Veluchan, tom van dam and Tim Hortans are gathered on top of a very High sky scraper with a helicopter and nothing else in particular.
Weena: So, what exactly are we doing here again?
V: An anonymous tipster told us something very important would happen if we're all here at the same time.
Ana: Huh.
Felix teleports ontop of the skycraper with the rest of them, punching Bram in the face then teleports next to the helicopter.
Bram: What was that for!
Felix: Jaws were made to be broken.
Bram: Ha! good one!
Ibby: You so stole that from explosm.
Felix: And This bullet is going to steal some blood from you.
Felix shoots Ibibo with a revolver directly in the heart, effectively killing him, the rest stare in shock.
Felix: Now that I've sorted that out, the reason your here.
Veluchan: Why have you brought us here?
Felix: me, I didn't not, not.
Ana: That made no sense.
Felix: YOU make no sense.
Ana: Oh, your good.
Felix: However, I suggest you look in the Helicopter for something.
Velu and Tom van dam clamber into the helicopter searching for anything of use, they come out carrying a large wooden box.
Tim: what's in it?
Velu: We haven't checked yet.
Felix: Let me have a look.
Felix steps to wards the box and opens lid, after seeing whats inside, takes a careful step back
Felix: that, my friend would be..
Felix stares towards audience/camera in a very James bond look.
Felix: A BOMB!
.:Juli:.
There are a lot of typos and capitalization errors in here: people's first AND last names should begin with capital letters, "what's" should have an apostrophe in it, "towards" is all one word, etc. In addition, I'm not sure you gave us enough to read from here. I recommend that you try again, and work on your capitalization and spacing.

Felix- Member
- Number of posts: 721
User Points: 16207
Age: 3
Location: I come from a land down under..
Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
I was just wondering if I can be re-approved, I feel my writing has slipped and I was wondering if it was still up to standard. So can I?
Go for it.
Go for it.

Wixmagic- KuKuKuKuKu
- Zard:

Number of posts: 1169
User Points: 110641
Age: 17
Location: On a moose
Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
Can someone please Approve/unapprove me?

Felix- Member
- Number of posts: 721
User Points: 16207
Age: 3
Location: I come from a land down under..
Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
Cailen rolled out of the hospital bed, falling to the floor. He was wearing light green hospital pyjama bottoms, his top was bare, his new metal feet and ankles sticking out of the too short bottoms. He stood up and wandered round the bed, familiarising himself with his new limbs. A doctor walked in, followed by a technician. Only natural thought Cailen as they entered. The doctor walked up to Cailen. "It's good to see that you're up Cailen" the doctor said this with no emotion in his voice. Typical doctor thought Cailen, keeping completely silent. "Yes well..." The doctor cleared his throat "...the technician will just check to see if your new limbs are working properly." Cailen stayed silent. The technician walked over, "can you go and sit on the bed for me?" He asked with kindness in his voice, and Cailen instantly liked him better than the doctor, he did as he was told. The technician rolled the pyjamas up slightly past Cailen's knees, he then produced a strange device, it was small and dark red with various dials and buttons, it was the same shape as a 21st century pistol but lacked a trigger and handle, and on the end of the device there was what appeared to be a small satellite dish. Cailen stared at it with apprehension. The technician looked up at him. "It's a pulse device; it'll test your reflexes" the technician put the satellite dish against Cailen's knee, fiddled with a few dials and pressed a button on the side. A pulse of energy shot through Cailen's leg. His leg shot up into the air almost hitting the technician in the face. "Sorry" said Cailen, embarrassed. The technician laughed. "It's ok, that's what was supposed to happen." The technician repeated the same process on Cailen's other leg. He adjusted some dials and put the satellite dish to Cailen's shoulder. Cailen's arm jerked to the right as the energy pulse shot through it. "Good, everything's working right" said the technician. Cailen looked at his shoulder, then down at his legs, "where does the power for my legs come from?" Cailen asked the technician. The technician tapped the metal kneecaps, "the power cores are under the knee caps" he explained.
.:Juliana:.
I'm actually very impressed. You have a very few small punctuation errors, mostly with leaving out commas, but it's a good story and well-written. Re-approved, though you didn't really need to be.
.:Juliana:.
I'm actually very impressed. You have a very few small punctuation errors, mostly with leaving out commas, but it's a good story and well-written. Re-approved, though you didn't really need to be.

Wixmagic- KuKuKuKuKu
- Zard:

Number of posts: 1169
User Points: 110641
Age: 17
Location: On a moose
Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
Medium (What you do most of) : Stories and poems
How long have you been writing? : Since I was a child
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
My name is Payton
I have since seen the land for which I used to reside
I am a pirate, I live by the sea
My crewmates are nasty, I am cruel
We give no hope to any ghoul.
My colors a bright red
I can look around and see my friends
But another day, they could all be dead
My parents are gone
So I tell myself every dawn
I am a pirate
This is who I am
.:Juliana:.
Hmm, interesting. You have a few small errors ("colors" should be "color's" in this context; it's a contraction for "color is" rather than just one word), but it's decent. Approved.
How long have you been writing? : Since I was a child
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
My name is Payton
I have since seen the land for which I used to reside
I am a pirate, I live by the sea
My crewmates are nasty, I am cruel
We give no hope to any ghoul.
My colors a bright red
I can look around and see my friends
But another day, they could all be dead
My parents are gone
So I tell myself every dawn
I am a pirate
This is who I am
.:Juliana:.
Hmm, interesting. You have a few small errors ("colors" should be "color's" in this context; it's a contraction for "color is" rather than just one word), but it's decent. Approved.

Payton- RedStarPirate
- Number of posts: 453
User Points: 17205
Age: 1
Location: A high point watching you
Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
Just a heads-up, I've been through the entire thread. Everyone who posted has been either approved or asked to try again, so if you're waiting to find out now's the time.
~Juli
~Juli

Juliana- Storyteller!
- Number of posts: 3668
User Points: 159061
Age: 18
Location: In my own little corner, in my own little chair...
Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
Medium : Comedy, or fantasy.
How long have you been writing? :umm.. I haven't written for a while, I only write in English class. :P
Example :
Last journal entry, 13/10/2050
If your reading this, I have no idea how you survived, because its all over, everything is dead. Atoms disintegrating, right before my eyes. But before I confuse you, I'll go back to the beginning.
I was walking through the Alps, my clothes cold, covered in small snow particles. It was foretasted that there would be a small meteor shower tonight, so I stayed up to see it.
Then it happened.
The snow began to melt first, it was unnoticeable at first, but slowly it got more rapid. Soon, instead of standing on snow, I was standing on rock. then, I looked up and saw it, a fireball, hurtling north. I didn't know it then, but it was destroying the earths magnetic field. Then, Cars or anything metal started flying towards it, following it.
Now, its passed us, and orbited the earth 3 times. As I write this, we have no communications with anywhere, internet, TV, phones, there all destroyed, and soon, we will be gone for good.
.:Juli:.
I catch a few small mistakes--you don't mean "foretasted," you mean "forecasted;" "earth's" has an apostrophe in it, you used the wrong form of "their" in the last sentence, just to name three--but it's overall pretty good and an interesting concept. Approved.
How long have you been writing? :umm.. I haven't written for a while, I only write in English class. :P
Example :
Last journal entry, 13/10/2050
If your reading this, I have no idea how you survived, because its all over, everything is dead. Atoms disintegrating, right before my eyes. But before I confuse you, I'll go back to the beginning.
I was walking through the Alps, my clothes cold, covered in small snow particles. It was foretasted that there would be a small meteor shower tonight, so I stayed up to see it.
Then it happened.
The snow began to melt first, it was unnoticeable at first, but slowly it got more rapid. Soon, instead of standing on snow, I was standing on rock. then, I looked up and saw it, a fireball, hurtling north. I didn't know it then, but it was destroying the earths magnetic field. Then, Cars or anything metal started flying towards it, following it.
Now, its passed us, and orbited the earth 3 times. As I write this, we have no communications with anywhere, internet, TV, phones, there all destroyed, and soon, we will be gone for good.
.:Juli:.
I catch a few small mistakes--you don't mean "foretasted," you mean "forecasted;" "earth's" has an apostrophe in it, you used the wrong form of "their" in the last sentence, just to name three--but it's overall pretty good and an interesting concept. Approved.

Felix- Member
- Number of posts: 721
User Points: 16207
Age: 3
Location: I come from a land down under..
Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
Medium : Microsoft Word/Pages?
How long have you been writing? : Years (Maybe... My whole life). 8 Years.
Example :
Look, I'm not going to right 200 words just for this. So I'll just copy and paste my current English Essay... It's entitled "Home" and is 600 words long ;)
Where is home? Home is the place you grew, the place you cherish, and the place you hold in contempt for all of those years you spent there. Home is the place that you love and that you hate. Home is the place of which you came and what you will be. Home is here, there, anywhere you wish it to be. Home is you’re your mind, body, and soul. This is home…
My home is not the place that I live in, but the place I am now. I do not say that because I was born in Albany, Oregon (not to be confused with the capital of New York) that my home is Albany Oregon. Nor do I state that because I have lived in Palo Alto for an extended period after birth that my home is there. And don’t state that my home is [Removed so you don't stalk me]. I do not live in the past or the future. My home is right here, right now.
If you were to talk about my past then you could say that my home is Albany, Oregon. You might also say that my home is right here in Monterey, California, which I have spent most f my life in. However you were to go along those lines then you would end up calling every place that I have been to as my home. Redding, California; Portland, Oregon; British Colombia, Canada would be some of the many places considered to be my home. So that is why I do not call the past my home, for I do not live in it and I do not intend to stay there. I am not a person of the past, nor is my home a place there.
Of course I can no more call the future my home as I can call the past my home. I have plans to live in San Diego, as well as some time in Europe. Yet to me, they are not my home. I won’t be a person who dreams of the inevitable. My home is not Beverly Hills because I have plans to live there (which I don’t). I do not call the future my home because I do not look to it, there are no guarantees, yet we dream. I intend to do something, but it has not come to pass. The future is not and never will be my home.
Now that I have exhausted the past and the future that leaves me with only one option. The present. My home is right here, right now. Because no matter the misfortunes of the past, and the bleak look of the future. I am here now, right now. I don’t care if I have had my life ripped apart because of a tornado, volcano, or earthquake. I don’t care if I won’t have a place to live thanks to it. All that matters is that I am alive, here, now. I will make my home here, there, anywhere, when the time is now. Nothing is certain, so if I will have a legacy, a thing to be remembered by, it will be right here, right now, nothing else will be there. Now my life is being lived, now it is falling into the black, breaking out into the light, making its legacy, its legend, and most importantly the home it is to live. Everything is my life, everything is my mind body and soul, everything, everywhere, is where my home is at, right here, and right now. That is where my home lies.
How long have you been writing? : Years (Maybe... My whole life). 8 Years.
Example :
Look, I'm not going to right 200 words just for this. So I'll just copy and paste my current English Essay... It's entitled "Home" and is 600 words long ;)
Where is home? Home is the place you grew, the place you cherish, and the place you hold in contempt for all of those years you spent there. Home is the place that you love and that you hate. Home is the place of which you came and what you will be. Home is here, there, anywhere you wish it to be. Home is you’re your mind, body, and soul. This is home…
My home is not the place that I live in, but the place I am now. I do not say that because I was born in Albany, Oregon (not to be confused with the capital of New York) that my home is Albany Oregon. Nor do I state that because I have lived in Palo Alto for an extended period after birth that my home is there. And don’t state that my home is [Removed so you don't stalk me]. I do not live in the past or the future. My home is right here, right now.
If you were to talk about my past then you could say that my home is Albany, Oregon. You might also say that my home is right here in Monterey, California, which I have spent most f my life in. However you were to go along those lines then you would end up calling every place that I have been to as my home. Redding, California; Portland, Oregon; British Colombia, Canada would be some of the many places considered to be my home. So that is why I do not call the past my home, for I do not live in it and I do not intend to stay there. I am not a person of the past, nor is my home a place there.
Of course I can no more call the future my home as I can call the past my home. I have plans to live in San Diego, as well as some time in Europe. Yet to me, they are not my home. I won’t be a person who dreams of the inevitable. My home is not Beverly Hills because I have plans to live there (which I don’t). I do not call the future my home because I do not look to it, there are no guarantees, yet we dream. I intend to do something, but it has not come to pass. The future is not and never will be my home.
Now that I have exhausted the past and the future that leaves me with only one option. The present. My home is right here, right now. Because no matter the misfortunes of the past, and the bleak look of the future. I am here now, right now. I don’t care if I have had my life ripped apart because of a tornado, volcano, or earthquake. I don’t care if I won’t have a place to live thanks to it. All that matters is that I am alive, here, now. I will make my home here, there, anywhere, when the time is now. Nothing is certain, so if I will have a legacy, a thing to be remembered by, it will be right here, right now, nothing else will be there. Now my life is being lived, now it is falling into the black, breaking out into the light, making its legacy, its legend, and most importantly the home it is to live. Everything is my life, everything is my mind body and soul, everything, everywhere, is where my home is at, right here, and right now. That is where my home lies.
New, AWESOMER siggy coming soon! ^^

Caeel- LuvaBoy

- Zard:

Number of posts: 1459
User Points: 500356
Age: 1002
Location: http://aqwrp.co.nr/

Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
Medium (What you do most of) : Chapter Stories
How long have you been writing? : Two years
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
Excerpt from my prologue
You should have seen it. The sky was brighter than sky on the fourth of July, and that's saying something when you live down here in New Orleans. It was a dark night, and King and I had snuck out from the garage, because as usual King had to light off dads motor oil. I don't know what he put in there, but I'm telling you, Ive never seen a bigger explosion. My names Reynard but folks call me Rey, and that over there, peeing on the searing remains of what was an oil pan is Robert "King" Charleston. Together, we live in The Wastes. I know what your thinking, your thinking "Why would you write a journal about living in a hellhole?" Well, why wouldn't I? Just look at King over there, that's what he does for fun, and I have my journal, but that's straying from the reason I write.
Its cool, though. Even though the planet was laid waste to, I still find that, no matter where you look, you'll always find something interesting. Just the other day I was going to go down the road a mile to see if the store had any butter stocked, and I saw, to my amazement, a small flower growing from the muffler of a nineteen-fifty mustang. It was red, and it had real thick, dry petals. I picked it from its green stem and decided to give it to the store owned, Ms Green. Ms Green is a nice lady, rosy red cheeks, skin the color of the sandy wastelands, and always wearing he cheery smug grin. That flower reminded me of her, you know, because it was the exact same color as her cheeks, or maybe it was her eyes.
It took me awhile to adjust after the war, but your probably wondering what war that was. Well, it didn't have a name then, and it doesn't now, but its called by many survivors, The Big One. The Big One was the end of our Earth, you see. I'm no history teacher, but I know exactly what happened. We got mad at China, because they weren't supplying our country enough. It wasn't their fault though, because we were the ones out in our backyards and on our hoods makin' babies. We were over populated, and China just didn't have the man power to help. Eventually, China stopped trying altogether, and we got mad about that, and we threatened war. That war lasted one hour seventeen minutes twenty one seconds. China nuked out sweet country, and sensing their threat, Russia nuked China. The chain goes on, but in the end, the Earths atmosphere was so burned up that it started letting more and more heat in. Now look at us, the planet is a desert and I'm not wearing a shirt.
It wasn't always bad. I go to sleep in my bedroom listening to King snore, watching dads belly move slowly. Why did it get so bad? Why didn't we just stop makin' babies instead of forcing all this on ourselves? But when I ask dad, he just tells me that without our habit of makin' babies, I wouldn't be here. I guess I got to agree with that. Without our habit of makin' babies, I wouldn't be here. because of me, because of Reynard Louis Charleston, the world was blown into Armageddon.
.:Juli:.
That's... quite a strange story. It's very well-written; I can identify only a few errors. Approved.
How long have you been writing? : Two years
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
Excerpt from my prologue
You should have seen it. The sky was brighter than sky on the fourth of July, and that's saying something when you live down here in New Orleans. It was a dark night, and King and I had snuck out from the garage, because as usual King had to light off dads motor oil. I don't know what he put in there, but I'm telling you, Ive never seen a bigger explosion. My names Reynard but folks call me Rey, and that over there, peeing on the searing remains of what was an oil pan is Robert "King" Charleston. Together, we live in The Wastes. I know what your thinking, your thinking "Why would you write a journal about living in a hellhole?" Well, why wouldn't I? Just look at King over there, that's what he does for fun, and I have my journal, but that's straying from the reason I write.
Its cool, though. Even though the planet was laid waste to, I still find that, no matter where you look, you'll always find something interesting. Just the other day I was going to go down the road a mile to see if the store had any butter stocked, and I saw, to my amazement, a small flower growing from the muffler of a nineteen-fifty mustang. It was red, and it had real thick, dry petals. I picked it from its green stem and decided to give it to the store owned, Ms Green. Ms Green is a nice lady, rosy red cheeks, skin the color of the sandy wastelands, and always wearing he cheery smug grin. That flower reminded me of her, you know, because it was the exact same color as her cheeks, or maybe it was her eyes.
It took me awhile to adjust after the war, but your probably wondering what war that was. Well, it didn't have a name then, and it doesn't now, but its called by many survivors, The Big One. The Big One was the end of our Earth, you see. I'm no history teacher, but I know exactly what happened. We got mad at China, because they weren't supplying our country enough. It wasn't their fault though, because we were the ones out in our backyards and on our hoods makin' babies. We were over populated, and China just didn't have the man power to help. Eventually, China stopped trying altogether, and we got mad about that, and we threatened war. That war lasted one hour seventeen minutes twenty one seconds. China nuked out sweet country, and sensing their threat, Russia nuked China. The chain goes on, but in the end, the Earths atmosphere was so burned up that it started letting more and more heat in. Now look at us, the planet is a desert and I'm not wearing a shirt.
It wasn't always bad. I go to sleep in my bedroom listening to King snore, watching dads belly move slowly. Why did it get so bad? Why didn't we just stop makin' babies instead of forcing all this on ourselves? But when I ask dad, he just tells me that without our habit of makin' babies, I wouldn't be here. I guess I got to agree with that. Without our habit of makin' babies, I wouldn't be here. because of me, because of Reynard Louis Charleston, the world was blown into Armageddon.
.:Juli:.
That's... quite a strange story. It's very well-written; I can identify only a few errors. Approved.

The Mysterious Politician- New Member
- Number of posts: 1
User Points: 526
Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
Medium : Short stories. Have been writing longer and longer ones, though.
How long have you been writing? : A looong time, I guess. xD
Example :
Take your pic. c:
Those Damned Dolls
Tree
In Hindsight...
Dear Diary [Long]
The Dark
Chill Out, Man...
Beauty [Loooong]
Creepy, but good writing. Always make sure to put spoilers in your gallery as well, in case somebody wanders in unknowing.
~LeppyApproved
How long have you been writing? : A looong time, I guess. xD
Example :
Take your pic. c:
- Spoiler:
- In rural Wisconsin, there is an old abandoned park. Built in the 1920s, it served as the town's gathering place for everyone in the community.
That is, until a newly developed Train and Tunnel for Tots™ ride was installed in 1932. It was an innocent looking childish train, with one main (mechanized) head car, with three small trolleys pulled behind it. It went around some loops before going into a small tunnel.
But this is where the story gets weird. There were numerous cases of child deaths that year, all of them happening after the child rode on that train system. Some kids went missing in that short curved tunnel, and others went comatose after leaving. One, upon exiting, was found to be dead. Her dress was covered in what looked like small bloody hand-prints. One of them even killed another child before hanging herself with razor wire at the family's farm.
Any attempts to uninstall the ride proved futile, as even more deaths occurred from freak accidents involving the crewmen and the equipment. The park was closed, and the town's popularity as a tourist town plummeted.
Recently, a team of scientists were sent out to the park. They taped a video camera to the train, along with some other monitoring equipment, before sending it on its way onto the tracks.
When the train left the tunnel, it was empty, except for the camera. It was beaten and nearly broken, but eventually the scientists were able to play it.
The last ten seconds were nothing but static, save for the sound of children laughing.
Those Damned Dolls
- Spoiler:
- I loved my wife. After all, we had been married for fifty years! We could never conceive children, so I guess that always was a rough spot between us.
However, she did have an interesting hobby of collecting dolls or puppets. She took up this hobby after the doctors told us that we could not have children - a fault my wife blamed my low sperm count on - when we were having no luck at conception.
Either way; back to the dolls. Although she did love them -albeit, sometimes it seemed more Han she loved me - I hated those things. I said they were creepy, especially the ones with the moveable mouths... She said they were cute and had an eclectic charm to them.
When she passed away, not two months ago, the bad dreams began. It wasn't all that bad at first, the shrink said that it was normal for someone going through grief. Then the dolls started entering my dreams.
They were always looking down as I lay there in my bed - in the dream of course. For some reason I couldn't move in my dream - and black blood was flowing out of their mouths and eyes onto me. Eventually, it would start pouring into my mouth until I could not breathe and suffocated/woke up.
I had no luck selling them, either. Every time I sold them, they appeared back onto the shelves where they were kept before my wife's passing. After a lot of attempts at selling them, and the investigations surrounding the "stolen" property since they always came back, I just stopped trying.
No matter what I did, I couldn't get rid of those things. But that doesn't matter, anymore, as I have learned to just deal with the nightmares. They're just bad dreams, right? Bad dreams can't hurt me.
I just wish they would stop laughing.
Tree
- Spoiler:
- There is a very peculiar tree out there. Due to the circumstances surrounding it, I cannot tell you where it is. I'm not really sure myself. I do know, however, that it has killed before. And it will again.
The Tree, as it is called by the media, was the focus of their attention for about a week. Then, it can be assumed that the news companies were paid to never run the story again. Or something happened to them, I don't know. I don't want to know, either.
What I do know, however, from my time from studying the tree itself, is that it releases special pheromones. These pheromones are similar to the ones released by moths during courtship, in that it attracts animals of the opposite sex to it.
The pheromones, once inhaled or ingested, will remain inside the body for approximately 48 hours. This is the incubation period, for lack of a better term. Those who have the chemicals inside them will find themselves infatuated with someone of the opposite gender. Regardless of sexuality, it is always someone of the opposite sex. There have been no cases of a love triangle forming, or any homosexual relationships forming from the Tree's effects.
However, when the first 48 hours are up - the incubation period for the pheromones - they will be excreted through the urine of those infected. When the pheromones are no longer present, the dominant personality of the relationship will be filled with an indescribable rage and murder their partner. This is usually the male of the two, but cases of females committing such acts have been recorded.
This tree, upon further testing, was found to be immune to any diseases that were introduced to it. These include natural diseases such as malaria and the cold, and human-caused diseases. Traditional plant and weed killer also had no effect.
The bark is too tough to cut through, and thus, it is nearly impossible to get a trunk sample to find the age of the Tree. However, based on the size of the root structures, it is at least 1000 years old. The roots extended for at least a mile in each direction, and scans showed that, at their peak, the roots went at least one half mile deep into the earth.
Paintings of the early 19th century reveal that this exact tree stood where it is today, and has not grown since. Entries of personal diaries have been found that mention the Tree, and they date to at least the 1600s.
All attempts to kill or remove the Tree have been unsuccessful. Fire will not burn the trunk, and the root system is too immense to uproot. It appears that it does not need to live on photosynthesis, as, when the leaves were carefully removed, it lived by sapping the nutrients out of the ground and those who came into contact with the surrounding area.
Security personnel are stationed around the tree twenty-four/seven. They are all of the same gender, and of heterosexual orientation, to prevent the side effects of prolonged exposure to the tree. They are switched out every six hours, with another team of security personnel of the same gender and heterosexual orientation.
Items placed around the tree, such as dolls, toys, wallets, and in some cases, animals, will disappear. Cameras that are looking at the tree will not function properly. Once placed under the Tree, said items will disappear and reappear somewhere across the globe.
Any living or once-living creature that have been placed under the tree have never been found.
In Hindsight...
- Spoiler:
- It all started when a woman - approximately thirty years of age - was informed that there was severe internal bleeding and inflammation behind her left eye. Although she had felt no pain, her daughter had remarked that her Mother's eye looked red and blotchy.
She had immediately gone to the doctor's office, although her daughter had to drive her there, the eye had begun to leak pus and small amounts of her blood, and ran to the Emergency Room.
Upon examination by the professionals at Clearview Hospital, her fears were confirmed. She would have to get her eye taken out and replaced with another human eye, which was yet to be found by the staff.
If only the story ended there.
However, as the poor woman was about to find out, her luck had long run dry. After a week of searching for a sufficient eye donor, the medical team in charge of the case caught a break. A suitable eye was recovered.
The eye, with a lovely seafoam-green iris, once belonged to a convicted criminal, who was charged with first-degree murder.He was euthanized by means of the lethal injection. Once he was pronounced dead, the eye was removed and shipped to Clearview Hospital.
The operation was a success, and the patient was sent home after she was deemed well enough to leave.
At this point, most of what the press knows is cut short, or untrue and fabricated so that they had something to air on the news that night.
But one fact that everyone agrees on - police and public alike - is that she was not ready to have left the care at Clearview Hospital. upon entering her home, she was horrified to find her living room was covered in blood, and that her daughter, although she was the one who had drove her home, was lying in a pool of her own blood.
The authorities were called, and the hysterical and hallucinating woman was sedated but given another clean bill of health.
The hallucinations continued, each getting progressively gorier than the last. Everyone that she met, whether it be a stranger or her daughter, she was seeing them as murdered in her house. Eventually, it was deduced that the woman was somehow experiencing each of the murderer's crimes from his point of view.
At this point in time, the woman tried to kill herself multiple times. Each attempt was, however, unsuccessful.
She was eventually placed in a mental facility, where she would be examined and kept under strict security.
More assassinations at her life were attempted, although most of them were self inflicted. Other patients, for some reason, could not stand the sight of the woman, and they all agreed that there was something very, very wrong about her.
The hallucinations began to torment her so much, that, in more than one case, she began to attempt to kill other inmates, along with herself.
She was moved to an intense care unit when one last attempt was almost successful. It killed the other inmate, but only wounded herself.
The woman began screaming that the hallucinations were telling her to kill everyone around her, even herself.
When it was concluded that nothing could help the poor woman, they, with her, the family, and the State's approvals, euthanized her.
Her heart was sent out to an eager recipient for an emergency transplant the next day.
Dear Diary [Long]
- Spoiler:
- The following report is an excerpt from evidence file #13683. It was found in the basement of a house located in (TOWN NAME REMOVED), Wisconsin, on August 15th, 2014. The diary, along with the body of Cassandra Linette (LAST NAME REMOVED), were found within close proximity of each other. It appears that 'Casey' attempted to eat the leather covering of the diary, before succumbing to her wounds. The majority of the names have been removed, but ones that do not divulge the origin of the incident have been kept intact. Below, the diary (entitled "Dear Diary" by the media) is attached in full, with the names mentioned above removed.
_____________
June 28th, 2014
Dear diary,
Hey there diary! My parents bought you for me on my birthday, which just happened to be a few days ago. I never got around to writing in you, we've been so busy. But anyway, hiya! My name is Cassandra Linette _____. Everyone just calls me Casey though. I think I'll give you a nickname. Later though, it's time to introduce the family.
I already introduced myself, but that's not the whole family, of course. My father, ___, is a really nice man. He works too much though, so he's almost never at home. My mom is a true sweetheart; her name's ____. I also have a little (annoying) brother, and his name is _____.
If you must know, I am 13 years old. So my writing might get a little bit more sloppy than you might be used to. You are a professional date planner after all. Black leather, at least 200 pages, and a nice fancy book-clasp on the front, to keep intruders out. You're beautiful. But you already know that, don't you? You're a pretty little book. But, unfortunately, I must go. It's bed time, and dad still hasn't gotten home from work yet. I'm used to it though. Night diary! See you in the mornin'!
Yours truly,
Casey
June 29th, 2014, 10:00 A.M.
Dear diary,
Hey again diary. Dad still isn't home from work yet. But I'm still not worried; this wont be the first time he's spent all day and all night at the lab. He's probably coming up with a cure for the common cold or something. =)
A bunch of loud noises came from Mrs. Rose's house early this morning. I think she might have been robbed. Mom says to not go over to her house; there might be broken glass. Ugh, it's not the last time someone in our neighborhood has gotten robbed. Nor is it the first. I just hope Mrs. Rose wasn't hurt; she always brought us cookies and milk on hot summer days.
I have to go again. Mom says we have to clean the house, and she has to go grocery shopping later. See you in a while! I'll put you back on your usual spot on the shelf.
Yours truly,
Casey
June 29th, 2014, 4:30 P.M.
Dear diary,
Hey little sister. Like my new nickname for you? Its the only thing I can come up with at the moment, so that is what you will be called from now on. You will be my little sister; I've always wanted one. All I had was my little brother.
Mom went grocery shopping a few hours ago. The nice lady on the TV set said that there was an accident at Daddy's work. She said it's minor, but we're not supposed to go outside. The cable went out just after she said that. I don't care if we're not supposed to worry, I'm scared. Will Dad be alright? What about Mom? We haven't heard from Mrs. Rose, either. What happened to her? Its nearly dark now, and mom still isn't back. Little brother got hungry, so I gave him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He's screaming for Mommy's lasagna, which she was supposed to make tonight. Sis, you wouldn't happen to be a cookbook, would you?
I have to go, it's nearly bedtime; I must get little brother ready for bed.
Yours truly,
Casey
July 1st, 2014, 8:00 A.M.
Dear little Sister,
Hey sis. Me again. Dad still isn't home from work, and we're all a little worried around here. Mom came home late last night, and wasn't feeling very well. She thinks she caught a small flu.
Cable is back on. The news lady on the TV said that there's an epidemic going around, which is causing Mommy's flu. The lady said we can't go near her, or we might get sick too. We couldn't even get a goodnight kiss from her. We think Mrs. Rose is dead. Mom said there was nobody there when she came home from the store, but the front door was open and the windows were broken.
I'm so scared, sis. Mommy says Daddy can't come home anymore. We can't talk to him either. I think he's dead. Sis, I'm scared. I'm so, so scared.
Yours truly,
Casey
July 1st, 2014. 6:00 P.M.
Dear little Sister,
Hey again Sis. Mom is still in her room, but the lady on the TV said we still can't go near her. It's a good thing that she has a bathroom in her own bedroom, she is throwing up a lot now. She tries to blow everything off - to say it's nothing serious - but I think we all know this is bad. Very, very bad.
We know Mrs. Rose is dead for sure now. The ambulance finally came, and took her body away. They think it was some sort of animal who did it. Her body was all bloody and torn to pieces. I hope she's happy wherever she is.
We don't know much about Daddy yet. The news lady says that nobody escaped his lab alive, but who's to say he isn't alive inside the lab still? We can hope, can't we? Can't we?! I'm still so scared, little Sis.
Little brother is screaming with hunger, and we're running out of bread for sandwiches. I wish I could go down to the supermarket and get some food, but us kids have no money. And Mommy isn't really up for moving, much less driving to the market again.
I have to find some sort of food for little brother and Mommy. She seems fine with cans of soup, but I know that she can't keep it down very well. I wish we had some bread or crackers for her.
Yours truly,
Casey.
p.s. Some scary guy came knocking at our door. He was covered in blood, and was begging to be let in. We didn't let him in.
I think he killed Mrs. Rose.
July 2nd, 2014. 10:00 A.M.
Dear little Sister,
Just woke up. The news is on every channel now. I had to pull out a bunch of DVDs for little brother to watch. I found some old fruit snacks for him. There's a full box, but even I know those won't last long. I hope this thing ends soon.
The people on the TV are saying to board up the house, and not go outside. We locked the doors, and pulled the shades. That's the best we can do for now. Mom's too sick to even move now, she's throwing up all over herself. She's stopped joking; the vomit must be wearing away at her throat. I think I heard her say something about a tooth falling out.
The normal news lady is dead. She was attacked in the street by some of the people who were unlucky enough to be sick like Mommy. The camera man couldn't run away fast enough. Even after dropping his camera, they were still too fast. The news company couldn't turn off his camera either, so channel 12 is constantly showing the dead body of the news lady, who is slowly being eaten by the sick people.
Another person was at the door when I woke up. He wasn't begging to be let in, he was just pounding on the door. I think it was my first grade teacher. I can't tell through all of the blood that's on his face.
I have to go, its nearly lunch time and I have to find some chicken in the freezer for Mommy. Last night, I had to make nearly the whole bag for her. She just ate the breading/skin off of it, not even touching the chicken itself. Little brother was tempted to eat the actual chicken, but i tossed them out the window.
Yours truly,
Casey.
p.s. Mom finally stopped throwing up. She's actually walking around in her room now. I can hear it, even through the closed doors.
July 2nd, 2014. 10:00 P.M.
Dear little Sister,
My pen is running out of ink. I can't find any pencils or pens anywhere.
Mom is still wandering around, banging on the walls and doors of her room. Little brother keeps telling me to let her out, but I won't let him. I can't help but think that she is ending up like the people who keep coming to our doors (and windows recently) every once and a while.
I found out that little brother snuck one chicken strip away from the plate that mom had before I could throw it away, and ate it. He is getting sick now too. Mom isn't making noise in her room anymore. I think she's dead. But I'm too scared to go in and check. Little brother volunteered though. What a brave little trooper.
He went in, and we both realized too late that she was not, in fact, dead. She was faking or something. Little brother screamed and ran, and got out of there pretty quickly.
He didn't tell me until a few minutes ago that she bit him. He bled all over the linoleum in the kitchen. There's a big puddle. I locked him in his room. I think he will turn into one of those...things like Mommy. Daddy isn't home yet either. I'm pretty sure he's dead now, too.
They finally took channel 12 off the air. A little late, considering the sick people had finished the news lady about five hours before the camera ran out of battery. All the other channels are still on, but there's no more people on the street broadcasting. Its all through plated-glass windows and helicopters.
The president declared it a national emergency; we aren't allowed to leave the country anymore. People are already sick in Canada though.
Its spreading.
Yours truly,
Casey.
p.s. I...I think little brother is dead. He's not throwing up, and he's not making any more noises - none at all. I'm not going to check on him. It's my fault he went in. My fault. My fault. It's all my fault.
July 3rd, 2014. 5:00 P.M.
Dear little Sister,
My pen did run out of ink. Good thing I finally found a pencil underneath the couch.
The infection is still spreading. The president met with other World Leaders and they declared a global epidemic. We still can't leave the country, and we're not even supposed to leave our homes anymore.
The helicopters have stopped taking videos of this whole mess. They've started shooting the infected instead. Not even sick people anymore; evidently they're not classified as human. Infected, doesn't that sound so...grisly?
Mom is dead now. I'm sure of it. I can smell her body; I think it's decomposing faster than a normal person would. Brother is dead now too. Or at least I think he is. It (that thing is not my brother anymore) might still be waiting for me to check on "him".
I think I'm starting to run out of food. Mom should have a bunch of groceries out in her car, wouldn't she? She did go to the supermarket afterall. But there are infected people out there. And the helicopters who might think I'm one of the infected. And maybe Mommy got sick before she could even get to the supermarket? It's a risk I have to take.
I want chicken. I want food. I want my old life back.
Yours truly,
Casey.
July 4th, 2014. 11:00 P.M.
Dear little Sister,
I'm so hungry.
Little brother broke out of his room; he wasn't dead. I ran to the basement, but all I could grab in time was you, a pen, and the sandwich I had in my hand.
It's dark in here, but there's one small little bulb. It's old, and it could go out any second. So that's why I'm writing to you now. You see, I can still hear the television from down here. I had left it on while I was still up there.
The President, our leader, has declared that the U.S. Army is to launch a nuclear warhead at our own country. It's a good thing that I won't even be here when the bomb hits, because I think Little Brother bit me.
I tried eating the sandwich, but it just doesn't taste right anymore. I need meat.
Dear god, I'm so hungry. You don't taste enough like skin.
Yours truly,
Casey.
_____________
The rest of the diary is intelligible, and the remaining pages are smeared with blood. The diary, along with the body of Cassandra Linette _____ (the pair were given the evidence number 13683.1 and 13683.2, respecively) were burned after the autopsy was performed.
The Dark
- Spoiler:
- I'm afraid of the dark. I've actually been afraid of it since I was very, very young. Evidently, most kids that are my age were as well. It doesn't help that I can't see as well in the dark, either. My eyesight isn't all that good.
But I'm different. Or at least I think so.
Because truth be told, it's not the dark I'm afraid of. Merely what might be hiding in it.
I bet you all know the feeling. A bump in the night. A tree scratching at the window. The creek-creek of your closet door opening a crack in a non-existent breeze.
It's at this point that most kids start screaming for their mother, pretending to want a glass of water, one last hug before they fall asleep, or whatever else someone might pretend to want.
The older kids won't do that. Instead, they find an excuse. They go check their Twitter, Facebook, (or God help us) Myspace, just hoping that the dim glow of the computer screen will keep the Boogieman in the closet at bay. Others, without access to a computer, will turn their lights on.
You fools.
I couldn't find you in the dark.
Chill Out, Man...
- Spoiler:
- It’s kind of chilly in here....
Beep.
The thermostat makes a beeping sound, indicating it had gone down one degree. You push your sweater up on your neck a little bit more. Sure, its winter in Wisconsin...but the heater should be on. So why is it so cold in here?!
Beep.
Another degree. The window isn't even open! You go around your small dorm room, searching for the draft.
You find none.
Disgruntled, you quickly grab a quilt from your bedroom, and go back to the computer. Its 2 o'clock in the morning and that term paper is due tomorrow. But the draft is making it hard to concentrate. But still, the paper is due in about six hours, and the dorm doors are snowed in. So there was no way to leave anyway.
Beep.
"What the hell?!" You scream, and run over to the thermostat again. 50 Degrees Fahrenheit. You search everywhere this time. The fridge...nope, not open. The door outside? Open a crack, and there is frost forming on it. That must have been it. You go back to the computer, again, and resume typing.
A while later, you realize the thermostat has stopped beeping. But it’s still cold. Maybe it’s broken? Temperature stopped dropping?
Your heart sinks. The thermostat is frozen solid. No readout is even showing. Was it even on?!
You tap at it. It’s really cold. Your finger even sticks to the thermostat for a small fraction of a second, before ripping off; a small bit of skin with it. Abandoning the search paper for now, you go to your bed and try to warm up. As you pass the door to get outside, you realize it is still open. Didn’t I close it? There’s even more frost formed on it, and some forming on the floor in front of it. You close it again anyway. You climb into your bed, and pull a large quilt onto your bed with you.
The cold is making every thing fuzzy, and your eyelids are just fighting to stay open. Your med-school knowledge tells you what is really happening: hypothermia. In a college dorm, of all places?
You barely have the focus to see a ...a creature would be the best way to describe it, but that's not even close enough. It is lumbering around, slowly, through your dorm. Everywhere it steps, patches of ice start to form.
And it is making noises.
Sick, disturbing noises. It’s standing right over you now. It leans down toward you, laughter in the pits of what can best be described as its eyes. But what gets you most is the noise that comes out of its mouth next, chilling your heart to its core.
Beep.
Beauty [Loooong]
- Spoiler:
- ***Day 1***
Slowly, the girl started to regain consciousness. The pounding inside her head was giving her one massive migraine, and the heat didn't make her feel much better.
The heat? She thought to herself. Where am I?!
She opened her eyes in shock and wished she hadn't. The scorching light from the midday sun beat down on her neck. Wherever she was, it felt way to dry to be her hotel room. She swallowed, hoping to clear her aching throat. It didn't help. In fact, it made it worse. She retched violently onto the ground, her salty blood making her wince in pain as it touched her chapped lips.
She was aware of another presence near her. Very, very near. A small spider, which looked actually kind of cute, was sitting on her arm. Still, she was deathly afraid of them. She swatted at it, pressing it into her elbow on accident.
Owie! She thought to herself yet again. For such a small spider, its little sting actually hurt a little.
She braced herself against a nearby bush and hoisted herself to a standing position. She was now regretting her life as a model and the shoes that came along with it. Slowly, she walked forward, trying to find a way out of the desert. Almost immediately, her disoriented senses betrayed her. As she tripped over a rock, a sharp snap echoed throughout the area. Her left leg also went numb. She collapsed into a heap yet again in the sand.
Looking back at her ankle, she realized what the sound really was. Her weakened ankle, along with the awkward angle from being bent by the rock, had snapped under the pressure. She stifled a sob, and started crawling away in the afternoon sun, leaving her high heels behind.
Good riddance, she thought with malice.
***Day 2***
The girl hopped up to one leg. Sunset, she thought. Now to get on the move again. But why does my arm itch so much? She looked down at her elbow, where the spider had bitten. It was swollen, and she could barely move it. It was also turning a sickening green color, with pus oozing out of where she had gotten bitten.
For the second time since the start of this ordeal, she retched in the bushes again. But this time, it was a dry one. Nothing left in her stomach to bring back up. Starving herself for the show was a bad idea, and now she regretted it. Her size zero waist, bony shoulders, and unhealthy complexion was proof of how she was killing her own body. As soon as she got home, she would not stop eating for three full hours.
If I get home, she added with a hint of despair.
She itched her arm one last time, almost subconsciously. The tips of her fingers, her fingernails wore down, were covered in something wet. Blood. Looking down, frightened, she almost puked again at what she saw.
Her arm was bloody and raw. The green color had made way for a new color: black. Bits of her own flesh had turned a sickening red as well.
Gangrene! she noted with horror.
She started sobbing now, as she heard fluttering behind her. Turning quickly, she saw a vulture fly off into the fading sunset. A small breeze had started to blow, and the temperature decreased sharply.
Maybe I should get some sleep...
She crawled under the faint shade of a small bush and slept.
***Day 3***
She awakened to a sight nobody would ever want to see. In the morning light, she could see three large black shapes, just above her. Three vultures were sitting on the ground next to her, picking at her right arm. She tried to raise her left arm to shoo them away, but was surprised when she could not move it either. Looking over, she realized why. Another vulture, the biggest of the now four total, was perched on her opened palm. Its large talons were gouging into her wrist, but very little escaped. Any blood that did escape was the consistency of jelly. It was coagulating inside her body. The great bird clamped its mouth down on her side, and tore out another chunk of rotting flesh. The vulture opened its mouth and cackled at her. It was laughing at her, mocking her own stupidity for wandering away from that desert party.
She should have not walked away, should have taken that drink from the stranger. But her drunken mind hadn't listened to her. She had taken the drink, and drank it with relish. But something had tasted wrong about the alcohol...it was too....bitter. Yes, bitter would be the way to describe it. She passed out in the sand, and had woken up alone.
Ugh. what a mess i have gotten myself into this time, right girl?
She was numb as more vultures landed, and started to make more gashes in her clothing and flesh. Numb as the lizards came, and laid their eggs in her sides. Numb as the rats chewed off her earlobes and fingers. A brief howl of laughter escaped her lips.
At least I'm pretty.
Creepy, but good writing. Always make sure to put spoilers in your gallery as well, in case somebody wanders in unknowing.
~LeppyApproved

Angel of Grief- Member
- Number of posts: 185
User Points: 1636
Age: 17
Re: Approval for Word Gallery form
Medium (What you do most of) : Longer stories. Fantasy and futuristic stuff mostly.
How long have you been writing? : Most of my life.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
Beginning to my story.
“What is this?” Cynthia asked as she examined a small metallic object on the ground.
“I don’t know.” Her friend Kai responded. “Nobody has known that since before the Great War.”
Kai wasn’t his real name. His true identity had been long forgotten, like most people of the time. Ever since the Great War, people didn’t have a reason to keep their names. Names were something you could be located with, and Kai wanted nothing more than to stay hidden.
“Well,” Cynthia continued. “What do you suppose it was used for?”
Kai reached out reluctantly as she handed him the small object. It was plastered with dirt from the cavern floor but underneath was a clearly marked circular face with a small gold star in the center.
“Hm…” said a puzzled Kai. “There must have been a use for it once, but that is of little concern to us. We came here with one objective and one objective only. Somewhere in these mountains there is the cave that we read about in your brother’s message. We know that he wanted us to find it.”
Cynthia’s older brother Charles had been the leader of the trio, helping them survive the harsh conditions of the northern region. He had the knowledge that Kai and Cynthia did not. He knew the land and he knew about the once-great cities of the south.
That didn’t surprise Kai much when he met the other two. Cynthia and her brother had been born in the remains of one of those cities.
According to Charles’ stories, life there was a lot harder. The siblings lived in the shelter of an abandoned building, few of it’s kind still standing. They lived there for a few years until circumstances grew worse and they came north seeking a better life.
He still remembered the day he encountered them, oddly dressed and on the verge of death, crouched together under the snow-covered branches of an evergreen tree.
He took them in and cared for their injuries until they were well enough to leave. They didn’t leave though. They had nowhere to go. They lived together and formed a group for survival.
There are a few minor grammatical mistakes, but overall solid.
~Leppy-Approved
How long have you been writing? : Most of my life.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
Beginning to my story.
“What is this?” Cynthia asked as she examined a small metallic object on the ground.
“I don’t know.” Her friend Kai responded. “Nobody has known that since before the Great War.”
Kai wasn’t his real name. His true identity had been long forgotten, like most people of the time. Ever since the Great War, people didn’t have a reason to keep their names. Names were something you could be located with, and Kai wanted nothing more than to stay hidden.
“Well,” Cynthia continued. “What do you suppose it was used for?”
Kai reached out reluctantly as she handed him the small object. It was plastered with dirt from the cavern floor but underneath was a clearly marked circular face with a small gold star in the center.
“Hm…” said a puzzled Kai. “There must have been a use for it once, but that is of little concern to us. We came here with one objective and one objective only. Somewhere in these mountains there is the cave that we read about in your brother’s message. We know that he wanted us to find it.”
Cynthia’s older brother Charles had been the leader of the trio, helping them survive the harsh conditions of the northern region. He had the knowledge that Kai and Cynthia did not. He knew the land and he knew about the once-great cities of the south.
That didn’t surprise Kai much when he met the other two. Cynthia and her brother had been born in the remains of one of those cities.
According to Charles’ stories, life there was a lot harder. The siblings lived in the shelter of an abandoned building, few of it’s kind still standing. They lived there for a few years until circumstances grew worse and they came north seeking a better life.
He still remembered the day he encountered them, oddly dressed and on the verge of death, crouched together under the snow-covered branches of an evergreen tree.
He took them in and cared for their injuries until they were well enough to leave. They didn’t leave though. They had nowhere to go. They lived together and formed a group for survival.
There are a few minor grammatical mistakes, but overall solid.
~Leppy-Approved

Walt- FireAnt
- Number of posts: 625
User Points: 143674
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