Re: Approval for Word Gallery form

by Ferintar on Tue Nov 09, 2010 1:15 am

Medium (What you do most of) Poetry! :D
How long have you been writing? :Liek since 3rd grade-sish. Sooo five years?
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
'Twas eve, and her fingers danced
Across the strings, a shimmer in her eyes
They hummed a tune, a miraculous melody
Through the body of the black violin

(First stanza of a poem I write after the Fourmile Canyon Fire, I might end up posting the whole thing if I'm approved)
'k.

.:Juli:.
That's really very impressive. Short, but clearly there's more to the poem. Approved, and I'd be interested to see the rest!

by **Thoru** on Tue Nov 30, 2010 2:14 am

Medium: Pen and paper?
How long have you been writing?: Yes
Example :

My name? It’s Thoru. I am all that remains of the Shadow Sential army. I am a Master of the ways of darkness, one of the five Lords of Darkness. Thus my other name, Lord Thoru. The other 4 are probably dead now, or they might be searching for the same things as me, the armors of power. It’s unknown how many of the armors exist but there have been sightings of at least five. One for each Lord? No, that’s not possible. My destiny was never pre-determined. I am a Doom Knight. My armor shows that fact well. A dark shade of blood red, spikes on the shoulders. An almost tentacle-like weaving around the lower legs and upper shoulders. The helmet spits a dark energy from the eyes, blood red to strike fear into my enemies. The cape is tattered and worn from countless battles. The blade is the soul of it though. The blade is sleek and dark red, it practically SCREAMS power! I received this armor from the Master Zentuller. He was the original leader. I have taken over for him seeing as he was killed. How was he killed? Well let me tell you………………
It all started during the Golden Onslaught, the ‘Good’ King Aldein was captured by his former soldier. Oh the irony. We laughed at him, as we saw him trapped in a cage. We had broken into the lair to stop Maximillion’s Golden Army, and had beaten all so we were on our way to defeat Max when we found the dungeon. There he was, the King, trapped like a rat. I was second in command so I ordered a foot soldier to kill him. He obliged or so I thought. My decision not to kill him myself is what caused the destruction of my people. We went on to fight the battle with Maximillion, without a care until I heard an ominous rumbling……
It was the King. He had been released by the foot soldier. That ‘soldier’ was a traitor! I saw him and unleashed a Howling Doom Blast on him. The soldier was turned to dust. The King turned to me. I laughed at him! He tried to send a Shining Dragon Furry at me but I became the Darkness, the emptiness in ones soul. That hollow feeling in your gut when you know defeat, that's me. Using that power I went back to the ShadowLare for I thought that Master would be there. He was not. I immediately went back.
There he was lying on the ground. Dead. My master was dead. The one I had trained under was dead. I leaped towards Aldein and……………..
.:Juli:.
Hmm, really quite well-written. There IS a vast difference between "fury" and "furry," the former being anger and the latter being an adjective describing something that has fur, but other than that it's very good. Approved.

Ok, THAT made me lol for real xD

by **Tom Gaskarth** on Tue Feb 22, 2011 10:38 pm

Medium (What you do most of) : Dialogue, Diaries, Descriptive.
How long have you been writing? : Not very long...4 months?
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) : The first installation in my Character Diary:

My First Day

Oh my god. Why did I leave my old job and come here? It’s like going from swimming in the baby pool with armbands on, to cliff jumping into an ocean! Well I suppose I’ll have to learn how to deal with it all somehow. One day at a time. Speaking of which I better go to work. Best not be late for my first day and all! Write about it later!

Later

My god. Again. I have the single easiest job in the world. I run around all day fixing the simple technology they have and taking care of the other engineers. I guess being a technomancer really helps, what with the understanding of technology and all. Anyway I’m beat, I’ll write again tomorrow bye!

.:Juli:.
Your premise is okay. Spelling is excellent, grammar decent. It's a bit short on detail, but I've seen other examples of your work and I think with a little practice you'll be fine. Approved.

by Shadz on Thu Jul 07, 2011 12:55 am

Medium (What you do most of) : Mostly stories that include some joking but are not strained to make a laugh
How long have you been writing? :Not long to be completely honest, but I thought I did pretty well in RP
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
Marco woke up with a jolt. He lay there panting in bed as the memory of the nightmare slowly drifted from his head. The sheets stuck to him uncomfortably from the cold sweat that covered his back and arms. The dream would not leave him alone. Every night, like clockwork the dream would push away whatever was on his mind and come at him with new vigor. It was his own fault. He shouldn’t have left him like that, even if there was nothing he could do…He broke the motto he lived by as a Ranger; Leave no man behind. Sadly, Marco did just that on the 19th of December; and every night he pays for it.

Every night he sees the cave entrance fall, leaving a member of his unit trapped inside. Under heavy fire, there was nothing to do but retreat; he didn’t want to, but it was either his friend or his entire unit

Every night Marco remembers how he did not go back to find Polo.

.:Juli:.
Hmm, not bad. Quite realistically written; I like how you bring out the emotions perfectly. Spelling is good, too. All that's wrong is a few mistakes in conventions. Work on that a little, but otherwise it's good. Approved.

by Felix00125 on Fri Nov 25, 2011 4:47 am

Medium (What you do most of) : I like to write storys for fun.

How long have you been writing? : Not really sure.

Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

I squinted my eyes from the light that trickled in from a vent in the wall. Cold air made me shudder as I felt my shouldlers tense up, Then suddenly I felt as if a huge hammer had been pounded throught my brain. My vision flickered as I stumbled and collaspsed into the rough sandpaperlike bed, Then all I saw was blackness.

The consistent drip drop of water woke me up. My head touched my forehead as I recalled what had happened. Terror gripped me as I realized I was a prisoner of the C.S. also known as the council of seven. They were a formidable fighting force. Their goal was to protect less fortunate people from the clutchs of the Wizard's Domination and the Destroyers United. They were well respected and decent people, but then it happened. (Cliff hanger ftw ^_^)

.:Juliana:.
I like your scenario; it's an interesting premise. Your spelling and conventions in general might need a little help, and I question how exactly your head managed to touch your forehead (I presume that was meant to be "hand"), so I'm afraid it needs just a little more touching up. Try again; this piece will be good if you edit it for spelling and capitalization.