The strange happenings in the life of Cial! ~Spin-Off of Pere's magnificent storyline!

Scene opens to Ryzaa dragging Cial across the floor of TR castle. Cial devises a plan.

Cial:Ryzziepoo, will you let me go?
Ryzaa:No.
Cial:Pweeeeeese?
Ryzaa:Sure.
Cial:Really!?
Ryzaa:No.

Angred that his plan didn't work, Cial gets dragged down the hall into the dungeon, tossed in with a lot of bones of people Vamp forgot to take out. He finds himself next to a small man looking into his hands.

Cial: What'cha got there little guy?
???: Precious!
Cial: I LOVE that movie!
???:Oh yeah, it's really heart-wrenching.
Cial: Yeah, it totally deserved that Oscar'

After a few hours of speaking to each other about the movie Precious, US weekly and Oprah's book club, the small man leaves, carried away to be painted orange and his hair died green for Emporer Vamp's amusement. Cial is then accompanied by Winne through the dungeon gate.

Winnie: Psst, Spethal, over here!
Cial: Winnizorz! Ya gotta get me out of here, some guy in the back there thinks I'm his girlfriend!
MrSebi: Who's that lady? Smexy ladyyyy....
Winnie: Way ahead of you.

Winnie retrieves a gun from her side, a white gun with three prongs at the front.

Cial:Where have I seen that before?

Winnie disregards Cial's remark and uses the gun to fire portals on either side of the gate, releasing Cial. The two speed down the hall and run into a group of guards.[i]

Generic TR Security guards: GO CHARIZARD!

[i]Winnie, remembering how V trained the guards only to fight with Pokemon, slaps her hand against her face. She gets an idea.

Winnie: GO CIAL!

Winnie, her superior strength to Cial, tosses him towards the Charizard. He lands and tries to run away from the Charizrd as it uses Fire Spin. Suddenly he gets an idea and takes out his special "TRFloss: Electric Mint". he uses it to tie up the Charizard and guards, electrocuting them.

Cial: How did you know I'd do that?
Winnie: I didn't.
Cial: B-but...

Winnie and Cial escape the castle. They are almost across the drawbridge when a little fairy hits them and exlclaims:

???: HEY, WAIT!
Cial: What is it Navi?
Navi: Oh, nothing, just bored.

Cial and Winnie beat the snot out of that annoying little pest then continue on. Winnie explains to Cial they must go to another castle to rescue Princess Peach, I mean....Juliana. They arrive at the castle, out of breath.

Cial: Remind me...to...never...go...with you....again.
Winnie: You said...you wanted...to go.
Cial: You don't have...to be...so mean...
Winnie:It's just...like...you didn't...have...to go.
Cial: Well I thought...we could...have some...time together...I guess

Cial and Winnie continue to talk like this, even though they are no longer out of breath.

Winnie:Can we stop...talking...like this?
Cial: Why didn't...you say so?
Winnie: I just...did.
Cial: Be that way.

Cial and Winnie rush to the top of the tower to see a man wearing Juliana's clothing, and makeup.

Cial: Math, is that you?
Mathia Oh noes! You've found out the secret of the Girls, I mean Gentlemen of Lore!
Winnie: Really? You all dress in women's clothing?
Cial: I just thought it was a phase...
Mathia: Oh...um...yeah that...peace, I gotta go to the moon.

Mathia teleports to the moon, a whistle comes from the window. Cial and Winnie look out the window to see Juli on a white horse with another beside her. Cial picks Winnie up.

Cial:Come with me, M'lady!
Winnie:Oh, Leslie! Jump!

Cial leaps out the window onto the horse yelling "As you wiiiisshhhhh!". The three ride on to TR castle, and proceed to the roof, where a stage is set up. Winnie hands Cial a pair of high heels and tells him to wait for his cue.

Winnie and Cial do a near-perfect rendition of "Tango Maureen" from RENT. With Cial playing Joanne, and Winnie playing Mark, of course.

Cial takes a bow to applause and trips, falling through a series of trap doors and lands on a Lifetime suppy of Marshmallow Frogzards.

Cial What a crazy random happenstance.

TR GOES DOWN, AND TAKES THE MOON WITH THEM
"Everyone likely to die as a result," officials say.

TR - One of the finest organizations of our time, has come to what was literally a crashing end last Thursday, as the moon impacted with their headquarters, killing nearly everyone in the process.

"It was like dropping an egg on the floor," says farmer Bill Williams. "Only it was more like dropping a moon on a castle."

Rescue officials were on the scene almost immediately after the calamity, but were only able to pull four survivors from the wreckage, two of whom were immediately hospitalized with severe frostbite injuries from having escaped on an iceberg, and one of whom is currently in a mental institute. Fortunately, one of the survivors was available for comment.

"Dude, it was all like WHOOOOA," says Cial, the executive manager and creator of TR's brand of floss named "TRFloss". "If Vamp hadn't thrown me in jail, I wouldn't be alive right now. That's a pretty scary thought."

When asked if he had any plans for the future now that TR was gone, Cial had this to say to reporters:

"I survived because I was in the dungeons, which were far enough below ground to avoid destruction," explains Cial. "The only other things down there were Mrsebi and a lifetime supply of Marshmallow Frogzards."

"Those Marshmallow Frogzards should sell for enough so that I can retire quietly and live out

Scene opens to Cial, sitting on an old cot inside a high-security prison. He is playing harmonica, and singing like an old, bluesy man.

Cial: Vamp put me in prison.
*harmonica riff*
Cial: He dun put me awaayyy
*harmonica riff*
Cial: Vamp put me in prison, now that's just not OK.

His cell mate, Bloodbath interrupts him

Bloodbath: Hey! Quiet! What did you even get in here for anyway?
Cial: I tried to steal a lifetime supply of marshmallow frogzards from Vamparagon.
Bloodbath: Woah. Hardcore!

A prison guard comes to the cell. He unlocks the doors.

Guard: Alright you two, time for the weekly hockey game.
Cial: Hockey game? But it's the off-season.
Guard: Silly criminal, you're playing!
Cial: Why are we playing hockey?
Bloodbath: Oh, well, you see, the warden, he's technically Canadian, so he rubs it in by making us play hockey.

Bloodbath and Cial are escorted to the indoor rink. Cial is on a different team then Bloodbath. Cial is on the team "Bloody block 22". The coach addresses the team.

Announcer: WELCOME GENTLEMEN IN A MEN'S PRISON...AND CIAL!
Cial: Har Har.
Announcer: TO THE 9TH ANNUAL HOCKEY GAME...FOR FREEDOM!
Cial: Wait, for freedom all we have to do is win at hockey? Nice justice system, V.

TO BE CONTINUED

It’s a beautiful sunny day in the land of TR, birds are singing, Iceys are chillin’, a plane has just landed from Siberia with a Xusha inside, all is right. Juliana arrives at the doors to TR tower, arms full with official documents when the door flies open, knocking her and all the legal scripts of TR on the wet, freshly mowed grass.

Vamp: GOOD NEWS EVERYONE!
Pere: Oh no, we’re not doing this again, no more catchphrases for you young man.
Vamp: WE’RE ALL GETTING MARRIED!
Xusha: How long have I been gone?
Tim: Is that even…possible?

Juliana collects her papers and brushes herself off before pushing Vamp away.

Juli: We’re not ALL getting married. But there is going to be a marriage in TR.
Flaw: OOH! WHO, I LOVE GOSS—I mean, Uh…who is it?
Juli: My sister Winnie Brave and our good friend Cial Thesexy.
Rage: What? How long have they been engaged?
Winnie: A week or so.
Rage: I see. And how long have you been dating?
Cial: A week or so.
Winnie: Yep.
Vamp: AND I GET TO MAKE IT OFFICIAL AND STUFF.
Juli: Yes. Sadly, we have no one else qualified to be the minister, so Emperor Vamparagon must guide the wedding ceremony.
Pere: Oh gee, this will end well.
Vamp: Even Leafeon is renting a tux!
Winnie: We expect you all to be there, next week!
Cial: It’ll be tons of fun!

The crowd disperses and goes back to their usual summer business, chillin’ and what have you, as Vamp has TR’s tailors to take care of Leafeon’s suit. Wedding arrangements are made.

Tim: As your best man I will take the great honor of preparing your bachelor party.
Cial: Uhm….okay.
ONE WEEK LATER
Flaw: MAN! That was a great bachelor party! Where’d you get that-
Tim: I know a guy.
Flaw: Oh man…where’s Cial?
Pere: I CAN’T BELIEVE HE WOULD USE SUCH AN OBVIOUS PLOT DEVICE LIKE THIS.
Cial: Like what?
Pere: Nevermind.

The group gets ready for the wedding in a montage with a classinc 80’s song playing in the background, they do quirky things together in slow-mo, and somebody breaks something. They drive from a beautiful casino
hotel to TR tower. Everyone is there, even some members who don’t seem to exist anymore.

Pyronix: Hey man, congrats!
Cial: Thanks…who are you?
Tim: Just…keep…walking.

Cial and Tim enter together. The tower is decorated very ornate, gold, blue and white are everywhere, everyone is dressed in tuxedoes and dresses.

Cial: Alright Tim, your spot is over there, with the pillow and rings.
Tim: Why am I over there if I’m the best man?
Cial: You’re the ring bearer.
Tim: THE WHAT?
Cial: Ring bearer, you bring the rings to Winnie and I when Vamp tells us to.
Tim: If I’m the ring bearer, who is the best man?
Cial: V’s Leafeon. We’re pretty tight.

The ceremony begins, and Winnie walks down the aisle with Juli elegantly, dressed in a white half-tux half-dress in all white with a veil.

Vamp: Let’s begin. Shall we?

V opens his book, and begins skipping pages through.

Vamp: Blah blah blah, some words I don’t understand, , yadda yadda vows…HERE WE ARE!
Juli: I knew I should have done this myself.
Vamp: Do you, Winniefred Brave, take Cial Thesexy to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Winnie: I do.
Vamp: Are you sure? I mean, he’s got a pink username and all…Fine. Do you, Cial Thesexy, take Winniefred Brave to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Cial: I do.
Vamp: Really? I mean, you seriously want that kind of commit—Whatever, you two are a lost cause. I now pronounce you man and wife. You may hug the bride.
Cial: Hug?
Vamp: THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT, LOOK AT TIM. WE CAN’T HAVE THAT KIND OF IMAGERY MAKING HIM A PSYCHOPATH. Besides, everyone kisses, HUGGING, now that’s innovative.

Cial and Winnie hug each other. Since the invention of the hug there have been five hugs that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.

Flaw: I’m not gonna cry, I’m not gonna cry.
Security Officer #1: Sir?
Flaw: THERE’S SOMETHING IN MY EYE, OKAY?

It was truly a beautiful sight for all of TR, when suddenly Tim and Mrsebi are dropped from the ceiling, wrapped in laptop cords.

Xusha: Oh no. It’s happening.
Altera: It’s gone crazy.
Arch Fiend: itz correkkting all are grammar errars!
Altera: It’s…
Xusha: JULIANA THE HUN!

TR gathers around Sebi and Tim. All are in shock. Juliana is nowhere to be seen, and the suspense is palpable. A man opens the door and steps inside.
Dig: Detective Dig Dog here. I’m here to investigate the murder.
Tim: I’m not dead.
Dig: Poor souls. Gone before their time. I should start looking for clues.
Tim: I’m not dead.
The Detective circles Sebi and Tim, all the while staring at a notepad in his hand.
Dig: Aha! This could be a clue!
Dig picks up a can, and examines it carefully.
Dig: Hmm…This…What is this?
Xusha: It’s a can.
Dig: Okay, someone in English?
Cial: It’s a can.
Dig: What’s it made of, slick?
Cial: Aluminum.
Dig: And how do you pronounce that?
Cial: Aluminum.
Dig: AlUUUUUUUminum. I see.
Our…endearing detective continues to stare at the can, as if answers will flow out of it like soft drinks. He continues for quite some time.

Winnie: What is with him and that can?
Cial: I dunno. It’s shiny or something.
Suddenly, the door opens and a sweaty man walks inside wearing a green hood and tuxedo, with egg-shaped cufflinks.
Hunter: Sorry I’m late. I had a meeting and…What’s with Tim and Sebi?
Vamp: Oh it was awesome. I was all “Man and wife, homies! Hug the bride!” and Juli stole my thunder by hog-tying Sebi and Tim.
Juliana: I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU, ONE BY ONE, STARTING WITH VAMP, UNTIL I GET WHAT I DESERVE.
Hunter: Well now, that’s completely out of character.
Cial: Maybe she bumped her head or something?
Vamp: I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO!
Vamp rushes to the phone to call someone to help. A white van arrives a few minutes later. The driver steps inside.
Vamp: Dr.Fixerup?
Dr.Fixerup: Yes. Where is the little tyke?
Vamp points to the rafters, where Juliana is practically foaming at the mouth, swinging a laptop cord around her.
Dr.Fixerup: Sir, that is a full grown woman. I treat kids. That is not a child.
Vamp: YEAH? WELL SHE’S ACTING LIKE ONE.
Dr.Fixerup gets back in her van and leaves.
Vamp: Okay, whatever! We don’t need her, poser. Says she helps people, only treats kids.
Suddenly, Tom is pulled from the crowd with immense skill, and swings from the rafters, tied with a laptop cord. The rest of TR runs and hides in the cellar.
Vamp: Uhh..Guys?
Cial: Not now V.
Vamp: I might have had something to do with this.
Everyone stares at V angrily.
Vamp: Well, last week, I thought it would be nice if I gave Juli a present, so I gave her a shiny new laptop cord, from Europe, because everything in Europe is cool. She’s been angry ever since.

Winnie: There you go, Juli, one shiny new AMERICAN laptop cord.
Juliana: Oh, this is so much better, thank you!
And so the party went on, with fun and games and celebration. That is, until Pere calls Flaw, Cial and Tim over with a question.
Pere: Does anyone know what happened last night?
Tim: Oh yeah! Wait…uhh…
Cial: I’m drawing a blank.
Flaw: I can’t remember either.
Pere: Same here. But I have a hospital band on my wrist. I was hurt last night guys.
Cial: Uh oh.
Flaw: WE MUST FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED!

The Following story is fictional, and does not reflect the idealisms or personality of anyone mentioned in it(Maybe a little). That said, here's a short to hold you over for THE EXCITING CONCLUSION.

MrSebi, The Diplomat

Scene opens, to reveal a busy street with people whizzing by. The passers-by are all determined and busy, as usual in TR city, and amongst them is a large brown crate in the middle of Isometric Square. The TRians dismiss this, as many odd things usually arrive in the city’s squares, and they usually have a great deal to do with Vamparagon. Suddenly a voice erupts from the top of the crate from a masked man with a microphone.

Sebi: DEAR PEOPLE OF TR CITY, PLEASE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND LOOK AT ME.

The people in Isometric Square look up at the man, some slower than others.

Sebi: Now that I have your attention, let me remind you of something. TR is in troubled times indeed. Wars on many fronts, poverty and hunger, but there is hope, a hero emerges to save TR from it’s problems…diplomatically.

The people cheer and clap, some break into song.

Sebi: And that hero is…..ME!

The sides of the crate fall down underneath Sebi, revealing a large gold statue of himself with highly over- exaggerated muscles. Women weep, children cry out in horror, and some men commit seppuku as a means of escape from this cruel fate.

Sebi: I’m just as happy as you all are, and I assure you, when I get to work, things will change for this place.

Flaw: What the hell is going on here?

Sebi: Oh nothing, LOWLY SECURITY OFFICER. Now that I’m TR’s new diplomat I’m kind of a big deal.

Flaw: I have more power than you.

Sebi: Is that so. Well then, if Vamp dies, who takes power?

Flaw: Ryzaa.

Sebi: And if he can’t?

Flaw: Rage.

Sebi: And if HE can’t?

Flaw: Cial, because he has more leadership experience as once-acting emperor and long-time minor character.

Sebi: Well then, who has to die before I take power?

Flaw: Everyone else in TR and V’s Leafeon.

Cial walks up, staring at the statue.

Cial: Sebi, how did you pay for this statue?

Sebi: V’s credit card.

Cial: Are you on crack? He’s going to revoke his card use from all of us! No more LAN parties Flaw.

Flaw: Aww.

Cial: How could you possibly think this was a good idea?

Sebi: Well, I was recently appointed diplomat.

Cial: Yeah, DIPLOMAT not DICTATOR. I’m not even sure V knows what diplomat means!

V walks towards them, visibly angry at Sebi.

Vamp: SEBI, WHY WERE YOU NOT KNEELING DOWN IN MY THRONE ROOM THIS MORNING? I WENT TO PUT MY
FEET UP AND THEY FELL. WHERE WERE YOU?

Sebi: Why would I do that? I’m the diplomat!

Vamp: EXACTLY!

Cial: Sebs, I’m thinking V was thinking of OTTOMAN, not DIPLOMAT.

Vamp: Oh yeah, that too. NOW GET IN THERE AND BE MY AUTOBAN


Sebi: What? Aww man. Wait a second! This short doesn’t even make SENSE. How would V ever get the words “ottoman” and “diplomat” confused? Why would V let me use his credit card? Why would I make a solid gold statue of myself? Your stories are STUPID Cial!

Flaw: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL?

Cial: It’s okay Flaw I got this. As you were saying Sebi?

Sebi: I was saying—CIAL IS A SEXY BEAST AND SO ATTRACTIVE SO I ENVY HIS SEXYNESS I LOVE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WHERE SEXY PEOPLE LIKE HIM COME FROM AND SEBI IS A LAME NAME.

Cial: That’s what I thought.

FIN